It goes without saying that dating can be quite the guessing game, especially if you’re a newbie. Some may argue that the most difficult part of it all is actually finding a date, but then how are you supposed to act on the date, and what do you do afterwards if you want to go on further dates? There are no set rules; however, people tend to struggle in the same type of situations. Here are a few of the most standard FAQ’s to serve as a guide for dating beginners. (You’re welcome!)
FAQ 1: What do I do when I see someone I find really attractive and want to approach them – how do I start a conversation?
A: Let’s say for example that you see someone you like on a train. First of all, take a good look at your surroundings and what is going on around you. Is it pouring with rain outside? Has the train been delayed? Identify a current topic and make a casual comment to them, such as “wow it’s raining really hard right now”. Another approach is to ask them a direct question about something they will know, such as “do you have the time please?” Then, when they have given you the information or responded to your casual comment, ask them a direct question about themselves. This could be anything from where they’re travelling to today; to did they catch the baseball game on TV last night. If you make the effort then the conversation will soon start to flow.
FAQ 2: How can I tell if someone I have a crush on likes me back?
A: You can always tell if someone likes you romantically. It’s in the things they do and say. If your crush is overly flirty, and teasing you a lot (maybe even insulting you), then they like you. They will also find subtle ways to tell you in their body language, including touching your arm, leaning towards you when you speak, and making eye contact! Sometimes they might just straight-up tell you that they like you as well, which is ideal, because it saves you from wondering! Actions also speak louder than words. If they’re finding ways to talk to you and be around you, and are doing kind things for you, then they so obviously like you!
FAQ 3: Where should you go with someone on a first date (in terms or venue or setting)?
A: Always suggest a public place for your first date, whether you’ve met them in person or not. Public settings are not only safer, but they are often buzzing which makes the whole experience more exciting! A lot of people like to do dinner on the first date; however, meeting up for drinks is much more casual and less pressured. You don’t want to be that person who gets food stuck in their teeth whilst you’re figuring out your date and simultaneously trying to look good! A mid-market cocktail bar makes for the perfect venue, as you can dress up or dress down for this type of occasion.
FAQ 4: If I’m on a date with someone, how do I know if and when I should kiss them?
A: As covered in FAQ 2, you’ll be able to tell whether they like you. If they’re being extra touchy feely, then they probably want you to kiss them. The biggest sign of whether they want you to kiss them is when you’re saying goodbye at the end of your date. If they are lingering, muttering, and generally not making much sense – then it’s likely that they’re nervous in the anticipation of a kiss. Always go in for the hug first, just in case you misread the signs, and then as you’re pulling away – look at them. If they’re looking back at you, the kiss will just happen as you automatically both lean forward. You can often just feel the chemistry when you’re about to kiss – it’s the anticipation on both sides – and you won’t be able to miss it!
FAQ 5: How long should I wait before I text them after a date if I want to see them again?
A: If they haven’t text you since the date, wait a little while to give them the opportunity to do so. However, if it’s been a few days and looking unlikely, then there’s no shame in texting them first. Just a casual “I had fun the other night, we should do it again sometime” will suffice. Be direct, otherwise you might run the risk of never seeing them again, but don’t bombard them with texts. If they really like you, then you won’t have to do much second guessing; they will make it extremely obvious that they want to see you again by arranging a second date.
Good luck, dating newbies! You’ll be pro’s before you know it!