Break-ups are painful, there is no denying that fact. It is an immense feeling of sadness which you think, you will experience for the rest of your life. But, there is hope my friends. Someday you will look back and laugh at this misery you are in now. I am sure you will want to smack me hard in the head for saying this, but it’s true.
The very fact that you are listening to this video is an indication that you are in a painful break-up or wanting to help someone who is dwelling deep in misery.
Without further ado, let’s go through these following steps, which by the way are not just suggestions, but proven and researched psychological strategies that will help you overcome your painful heartbreak.
1) Think Positive
Yes, you heard it right. I know it must be pretty hard to think positive right now when you are in the midst of a break-up.
Breakups, when ended gracefully and respectfully, can help you recover quickly without much regret.
Research and scientific studies state that the human brain is extremely moldable i.e. it is very elastic. Therefore, forcing yourself to think positive and altering your thought processes by taking positive actions can help you overcome your breakup in a sensible way. Some examples of Positive thoughts:
“This relationship was never meant to be, and this probably is the best for me at the moment.”
“Good Riddance to bad rubbish”
“Everything happens for the good, I am yet to meet my soul mate.”
“To let go of this relationship maybe hard but not impossible”
Keep thinking these thoughts, it may feel a little silly in the beginning but do not give-up. Thinking these thoughts consistently will make you feel just so much better and positive.
Forcing yourself to smile, interacting with people and choosing not to think about the past are active and positive steps you will be taking in overcoming your heartbreak.
Have you been dying to do something that you absolutely love but have been holding back because your ex did not like you doing it?
For example watching football, listening to a particular song, binge watching a particular show on Netflix, hanging out with a particular friend, eating particular food or shopping.
Well, now is the time to do it. No one is stopping you and you don’t have to sacrifice your joy for anyone. So, get yourself up and JUST DO IT.
Trust me, you will relish this feeling without feeling guilty. Self-Love is an important act, especially after a break-up. The only person who is solely responsible for your happiness is “You” and only “You”, and not your boyfriend/girlfriend or parents or friends.
Don’t roll your eyeballs at me, trust me I am not making this one up. According to a finding stated in a Neurological report, swearing was found to be a therapeutic act.
Now, don’t go and start using all those pleasant-sounding words at your ex and get yourself in trouble. Instead lock yourself in a room, look at the picture of your ex and scream out that anger and say out all those things which you have been meaning to tell them for a long time.
Getting all that of your chest will help you feel more of a victor than a victim
4) List Your Ex’s Annoying Habits
Now that reality has knocked those love goggles off, which were causing you to ignore all the annoying habits and quirks of your ex, it is time to call to mind all those annoyances of your ex which irked you.
It may have been either his “Dumb Haircut” or “Silly Tune he always hummed “or “Awful Restaurant he always took you too” or “Those tight pants he wore” or her “Ridiculous Hair Style” or “The funny Lipstick shade” or “Her Irritating Friend“ or “Insistence on gifts” which you zealously tried to ignore because he/she was the love of your life and it simply felt wrong to get irritated with these parts of their personalities.
According to a study in Cognition and Emotions, those individuals who indicated strong negative feelings about their ex after a breakup were more likely to recover quickly from their heartbreak.
So, what are you waiting for? Take out your pens and paper and make a list of those annoyances and have a hearty laugh about them.
5) Laugh Out Loud
Stomach aches, Cold, Muscle Aches, Fatigue, Hair loss, Indigestion etc. have you ever felt any of these symptoms post breakup? Have you ever wondered why?
Well, the reason being that our body deals with a breakup just like it reacts to a threat, causing stress hormones to flood our system, thus, slowing down body mechanisms.
Hence the best way to counteract these stress hormones is to have a good laugh.
Watching a comedy show or having a good laugh with a friend can help your body deal with the stress. Picturizing your ex as a loser and having a good laugh at him/her with your best friend can be a big booster too.
6) Eat and Sleep Right
This goes a long way in keeping you away from depressive and negative thoughts. Humans have always worked their way out of discomfort. We tend to seek ways to minimize the pain and tend to drown all our sorrows either in drink, too much food or too much thinking.
Binging on food and liquor is not the solution here. It is at times like this that you force yourself to eat healthily, drink plenty of water and get a good night’s sleep. Staying up all night and thinking of the break-up is not going to help you get the person back. Instead, you will end up being more depressed and irritable.
Studies indicate that eating healthy food, sleeping a good night’s sleep and drinking plenty of water will help you feel happier and refreshed.
A breakup builds up high levels of stress and anxiety in our bodies. Some foods like pizza’s, donuts, ice-cream, wine, coffee etc. make one feel really good and momentarily help you feel better but in reality, are causing you to add a lot of unhealthy fat to your body, thus leading to a lot of weight gain.
On the other hand, food like salmon, eggs, almonds, yogurt, whole grain cereal, and dark chocolate (in limited quantity) help keep the stress hormones in check and help the human body cope with the anxiety and alleviate the stress. Not only do they make you feel great but also make you look GREAT. (Great enough to make your ex, regret over losing you.)
Many studies and findings indicate that exercise not only keeps your body healthy but has a profound impact in boosting your overall mood as well.
Therefore, to counteract the depressing thoughts and feelings following a break-up engage yourself in a high-power work out. If you are not enrolled in a gym, now is a good time to get that membership.
Working out in the gym or enrolling yourself in that Zumba class is a fun way to get your thoughts together and focus on yourself.
Apart from being positive, you will also develop that fab body which will boost your self-esteem ten points up and maybe even make that ex wonder why he/she broke up with you.
The simple act of listening to some upbeat and groovy music goes a long way in cheering us up and changing our mood altogether. Don’t you agree with me on this one?
Every time you feel yourself going down in the dumps while thinking about your ex and getting all emotional, do yourself a favor and turn on the music and move your body to that number.
Now, watch out what you listen to, do not even look at the Romantic or the Sad song playlist. Don’t push yourself down the cliff.
Remember right now “Upbeat, fast and groovy music” are your best friends.
9) Remove painful triggers
After the break-up make sure you remove all trace of evidence of the past relationship. Don’t cling on to these memories, harden yourself and ruthlessly throw out the gifts, photographs, letters and texts sent by your ex. It is no use going over the past memories. It is bound to bring you more pain and sadness.
The physical act of throwing out these memories is a signal to your brain that you are beginning afresh and are ready to move on.
10) Keep yourself Occupied
There is a famous quote “An empty mind is the devil’s workshop”, which after a breakup is very apt. Post breakup the girl/boy who has been on the receiving end is often seen brooding about what went wrong in their relationship. It is good if all that reflection is bringing you peace and closure.
But if the excessive thinking is making you feel depressive and pushing you into negative behavioral patterns, it is suggested that you stop thinking and occupy yourself with interesting activities like reading a book, playing a videogame, going out with friends, cooking, cleaning etc.
It is important that you keep yourself occupied with the right things rather than add more stress to your fragile emotional condition.
11) Talk It Out
Getting over a breakup may cause you to experience a rollercoaster of emotions. Some days you may feel absolutely fine, somedays you may feel terrible. A word, action or perfume may remind you of your ex and you may find yourself back in the same emotional pit you were standing in, on the very first day of your breakup.
It can be pretty frustrating and depressing. At times like these, talking your heart out to a friend or a trusted person helps. Also, seeking professional help may help you deal with this conundrum of emotions.
Talking out is a way of clearing your mind and seeing things in a new perspective. It also helps you realize that you are not alone in your struggle and that you have a support system you can rely on every time you feel low.
12) Journal your Thoughts
There may be times when you would not want to talk about your feelings to anyone or there may be no one available with whom you can share what you are going through. In situations like these, journaling your thoughts and emotions goes a long way in clearing your mind and helping you think practically.
Writing it down initially may seem a little awkward and you may wonder what to write down but once you get the hang of it, your thoughts will just flow and your hand will just keep writing effortlessly.
And yes, reading through these thoughts, later on, will make you wonder at your own sensibility. Though our thought processes may be muddled with emotions and may cause us to be overwhelmed with the situation, deep down our very own inner being will hold the answers on how to handle the situation.
Journaling your thoughts helps you reach that inner being and brings a clarity in your thought-process.
13) Heartbreak Short-lived
This is seriously good news for people out there who believe that they will never be able to get over their heartbreak and the sadness engulfing them. Studies say that two weeks is the maximum time allotted for an individual to get over their breakup. Phew! What a relief isn’t it!
However, if the feelings of sadness, negativity, lack of appetite and lack of sleep extend beyond two weeks, it is time to get some professional help before your condition escalates into a clinical condition.
“Nothing is permanent in this wicked world- not even our troubles”- Charlie Chaplin
A sensible quote indeed. Breakups are the universe’s way of pruning out the misfits from your life, thus, ensuring that you experience the very best. And yes, if viewed positively breakups can be perceived as “Meaningful Beginnings” rather than “Tragic Endings”.