Learning how to be funny and improving your sense of humor can make your entire life much more enjoyable. Life can be fun and entertaining if you know how to let it become such. To become truly happy you must have a sense of humor. For some of us this comes naturally and for others, we might have to work a little to unlock it.
It’s a great tool to turn something bad into something good and people love to be surrounded by someone who can make them laugh. Being funny is something which can help you in every aspect of your life.
From making connections with your peers to getting your crush to like you, having a good sense of humor will always add to your arsenal when socially interacting with someone. We don't all start by being the class clown or the joker, but if you want some tips to improve your sense of humor, try these out:
1. Watch More Stand Up & Comedies
This is as simple as it gets. To increase your sense of humor watch more comedies. You learn more effectively when you immerse yourself in a subject (such as a language). Similarly, you can refine your sense of humor by immersing yourself in humor. Watch standup comedians. Listen to podcasts that amuse you. Read humorous books.
There's a lot of funny out there! If you don’t know where to start, look for something to your taste or start with something popular. Watching stand up and following the jokes can have your rolling out of your seat in no time. The law of attraction will help you increase your sense of humor by filtering out jokes, pickup lines and other metaphors that make people laugh.
You won’t find everything funny because everyone has a different taste. Take the time to experiment.
Once you find something of your liking you will see that the comedians are just talking about ordinary things from our daily life and you can do it too, which leads to our second point.
2. Try To See The Funny Side To Almost Everything
If you really want to develop your humor, then try to take something ordinary and make a joke out of it. There is a hidden joke behind every little event and situation you come across. Looking at situations with a different perspective is a very valuable life skill and will come in handy when learning to be a jokester.
If I get to stressed out about a situation I eventually just burst out into laughter and start making fun of it. I know, I know... it seems a little weird. This causes my mood to do an instant 180 and influences others around me to do the same.
Go ahead and try it. Try to analyze those simple objects around you. You will start to find out that almost everything you see in daily life has a funny side to it.
3. Learn Some Very Simple Jokes
In the beginning, you don't have to be creative. Just go out and do some research! The internet is full of great resources for jokes, humor, puns, funny pictures, stand-up, etc. Try searching for stuff that you like and add funny, joke, or comedy to the end of your search. You will find millions of things to make your laugh.
You can learn these jokes and try them out in your life whenever they fit. the trick is if the people in front of whom you are using the joke if they have not heard the joke then you are funny to them and if they have heard it then it is a reference to that, either way, it is going to make them laugh.
Everybody likes to stay around people who makes them laugh because it feels good.
4. Hang Out & Observe Other Funny People
We have all got some friends that we find funny. Go ahead and spend some time with them and learn what they are doing to be funny and how they do it. Hanging out with other funny people will surely rub off on you.
What better way to grow your sense of humor then surround yourself with funny people. Pay close attention and don’t be afraid to contribute. Every little laugh counts. In fact, just a couple genuine laughs a day can help you live longer, enhance your life quality and improve your perspective.
5. If Someone Doesn’t Laugh, Don’t Give Up
All comics will face criticism on a regular basis. The thing about jokes and your sense of humor you have to understand is that everyone won’t always get it. In fact, there will probably be a moment where you finish a joke and hear crickets chirp.
Don't give up at these moments and just know everyone faces these moments. Sometimes you might have to sneak away from the group or party and take a breather for a couple seconds. On the flip side of humour is embarrassment, and if you're the butt of a joke, eventually it'l be difficult to laugh it off.
Even Chandler (from Friends) had moments when he would crack a joke and everyone would stare at him like 'Dude, that's not funny!!' But does he give up? No, and neither should you. Keep trying and coming up with better material to make your audience laugh whether it is on a stage or just among friends.
Be clear when someone hurts your feelings with a joke and then forgive them to completely move on. Developing a sense of humor is much easier when you can forgive people.
6. Don’t Overdo It & Be Careful Not To Offend Others
Knowing your audience is a key point to making them laugh. You can go overboard with your humor and end up offending or upsetting an audience that doesn’t want to hear it.
Try to read and judge how others are reacting to your humor. If you have people falling out of their seats it’s probably a safe bet that you can continue telling jokes.
On the other hand, if they have been quite for a long time or seems offended it is probably better to switch to a different topic, one which you think will relate better to them.
7. Be Witty, Not Silly
Silly humor can be a solid starting point for some audiences, but it can get old quickly. It also might make you look immature (which can be bad at work and in the eyes of some people).
Being witty on the other hand never gets old. If you're looking to get wittier on the fly your goal is to combine spontaneous creativity with ideas that delight. Sarcasm and stale jokes do have a certain funny appeal, but being witty goes beyond that.
The challenge of wit is in its spontaneity. You can hone your wit by regularly quipping with other people. If you know someone who takes being witty as seriously as you do, it might help to enlist them as a type of "witty" sparring partner.
If you're comfortable with it, you can also try your hand at wit in the real world (e.g., dinner parties, the office, the coffee shop, in the elevator, family reunions). Part of this real world exposure is in exposing yourself to the spontaneity that wit requires. If you're new to it, or nervous or reserved about it, you might have trouble speaking up quickly enough to time it properly. But once you get the hang of it, it will take your sense of humor to a whole new level.
8. Stay Positive & Laugh More
This may be the single most important tip on my list. Who laughs at a joke from someone frowning? Not many. If you are letting off unhappy vibes nobody will laugh at your jokes. You won’t even think they’re funny. To really develop a sense of humor you need to laugh more.
Watching a comedy and being around others is great, but if you don’t follow the humor how can you really know what’s funny? If you are happy and laughing you will see that humor will flow naturally through you. You can feel jokes coming up in your gut and then boom you express them. Being nervous and hesitant will kill a good sense of humor.
9. Know the difference between funny and mean
Making fun of someone for things they can't change can come off as really mean. And even though these jokes might make other people laugh, the person who is the target of the joke can grow really self-conscious and in turn their mood off. You don't want to do that.
You can make jokes without being mean. Make jokes about something they can easily change about themselves or you can also make self-deprecating jokes to a certain point and there will always be jokes which have no victims.
Being sarcastic and witty can help you a long way to making people laugh but... always know your audience and when to stop.
My last little bit of advice is practice. Comedy is something where it all comes down to Delivery and Timing. If your delivery and timing are not correct even the most hilarious jokes can fall flat. So how do you improve your delivery and timing? By practice. Keep practicing. Keep telling those jokes. Practice is something you need to enhance any skill.There is a saying in Karate which goes as:
"I am not afraid of the 1000 moves you have practiced once, I am afraid of the 1 move you have practiced 1000 times."
So go ahead and practice those jokes. Find out the optimal delivery and timing which makes laugh and you would be good to go.
Most of the time you can experiment with friends one on one to see how funny you are. You can also try to make yourself laugh by doing things and stopping to analyze what you just did. The more you practice the more comfortable you will become.
The impact that the Internet has had on our lives is unmeasurable. It keeps us connected to
everyone and has improved our overall quality of life in many ways. For many people, their
careers and livelihoods depend on the Internet. However, there is a point where the Internet can
control us and consume too much of our time. This article will take a deeper look into problems
of potential Internet addiction and offer tips on how to be more aware of its impact in our lives.
There is really no formal definition for Internet addiction. It cannot be diagnosed easily because
each case depends on the individual and the part of the Internet they are accessing. In Tony
Dokoupil’s article, “Is the Internet Making Us Crazy,” he discusses how easy it is to get addicted
to the Internet. Dokoupil mentions that the Internet has everything to fuel addiction because it
allows for any person to get away from their problems by sinking hours into social media,
videos, online gambling, gaming, or many other things. With the addition of smartphones, we are
now button taps away from the everything the Internet has to offer. When someone is on their
phone for hours every day, it starts to become an unhealthy habit. The simple act of taking out
your phone and browsing becomes compulsive and addictive. Many people stay on their phones
for hours to get that quick dopamine rush of a text message or a like on a photo. A study done in
China in 2012 showed that the brains of Internet “addicts” looked exactly like the brains of drug
and alcohol addicts. The results showed an “abnormal white matter,” which were extra nerve
cells built for speed in the areas of the brain responsible for attention, control, and executive
function. Other areas of the brain that were responsible for emotions, speech, and critical
thinking were showing signs of shrinkage by up to 20 percent.
Larry Rosen, a psychologist form California says that the Internet “foster our obsessions,
dependence, and stress reactions.” People who are addicted to the Internet probably have other
problems in their lives, such as depression or anxiety. These people look to the Internet to try and
help solve the problems, but most of the time it makes the problem worse. Excessive smartphone
use can potentially fuel more anxiety, interfere with sleep, and impede on our critical thinking.
Even just having your phone near you is a constant distraction because the temptation to use it is
Here is a link to a quiz to see if you are possibly addicted to your smartphone:
In Stephen Marche’s article, “Is Facebook Making Us Lonely,” he uses Facebook as a specific
example to show the potential effects social media could have on our health. On Facebook
people can connect by adding each other as “friends,” but they do not have to know each other at
all. Users can have hundreds or even thousands of friends, but these friendships can be very
shallow. Studies have shown a decrease in quality social connections, also called confidants,
over the past 25 years. In 1985, 10 percent of Americans said they had no one to talk to, and only
15 percent said they had only one good friend. In 2004, 25 percent of the people in the study said
they had no one to talk to, and only 20 percent claimed to have a confidant.
The fewer quality relationships we have, the lonelier we become. This loneliness drives many to
social media, because that is where many people go to try to help the problem. Social media can
potentially make people feel lonelier. They become isolated in their online profiles and feeds,
only caring about things like comments or likes on their posts. They might see people having fun
or enjoying life, and that could make them feel jealous. There is also an added element of stress
and anxiety on the user’s end to uphold their own image on social media so people do not think
that they live boring lives. Excessive social media posting can also result in negative personality
traits such as narcissism. Constant posts about your thoughts and life can make you more self-
centered and can hurt your relationships in real-life. Many users have to constantly post and
update all their friends that they are having great lives, when in reality it might all just be a
projection to hide their loneliness.
The way you communicate over the Internet and social media can also have different impacts on
your health. There are dozens of social media and dating apps that let people message each other,
but this communication is difficult to build a strong connection. A study at Carnegie Mellon
found that people who used “composed communication,” like direct messaging became less
lonely that people who had more “one-click communication,” which is usually a like on a post or
photo. Naturally, humans build relationships through face-to- face interactions, but virtual
messaging interferes with that. Another study showed that more video chatting helped decrease
loneliness than messaging. This is because a video chat is more natural that messaging, so the
talking is happening in real time. It is harder to build a quality relationship through text alone
because the interaction is not as authentic as having one face-to- face. You do not get to see facial
expressions or body language, which are huge components of communication. Messaging
through text is not bad, but it will only take the social connection to a limited extent.
Excessive Internet habits can have lasting impacts on social and emotional health. Smartphones
and the Internet have the potential to do great things, but they have also made it very easy to get
distracted and addicted. Too much Internet use can negatively impact productivity in school and
in your job environment. If not used properly, social media and the Internet can impact our
relationships and increase our chances of becoming lonely or depressed. With proper Internet use
in moderation, people can build healthier habits and genuine relationships through more face-to-
Have you ever daydreamed or thought about living the rich and luxurious lifestyle? I know I have. Truth is, at one point we all have imagined ourselves in a world where we have financial freedom to buy almost anything we wanted. So why do we get these dreams of having a mansion with a Lamborghini parked in the driveway? Or even touring the whole world on vacation.This is a question I have thought about myself as well.
In fact, kids and adolescents are more likely to daydream about being rich and famous than adults. This is because they can experience more identities and life possibilities as adults tend to daydream more realisticly. Daydreaming itself is a pretty big investment, as we spend up to half of our mental activity on daydreams. When we drift off into the daytime dreamland we are slightly detached from our current situations, and when we daydream about being rich it is because these fantasies reflect a need to rise above the frustrations of our own life.
But, what if all this really were real? What if you actually owned a big mansion with a Lamborghini out parked out front? Would our behavior change after having all this money? Today I present to you 4 ways money affects our mind.
Many studies suggest that money can alter a person’s behavior, but not always for the good side of the swings set. Luckily there are many grateful wealthy people that donate portions of their piggy banks to good causes, but this is an exception. Our thoughts, behavior, and actions link to our psychology; including factors from the way that you were raised to even genetics.
Money may not control your beliefs but it may influence your attitude and behavior towards others.
In a study to find the motivations to complete a given task there were 3 groups of subjects. These 3 groups were given the breaking a sweat task of moving circles from one side of a computer screen to the other side. The first group was asked to complete the task as a favor, the second for a slim 50 cents, and the third group for 5 dollars. Talk about easy money. The end result suggested there are 2 reasons for motivation to complete a given task. Social motivation was found as the first motivator because when we recognize a tasks social value we see the time to do it as a worthy investment. However when money is brought to the table in return for the completion of a task we tend to think more about the business value of the deal rather than the social side of it. This may lead to serious problems in one’s work life. If you feel underpaid you may be at risk to underperforming in the workplace.
The amount of money you bring in could affect the way you view others, and guess this, even yourself. One study asked individuals to rate things such as their income class, genetics, and even I.Q. levels. The results were eventually analyzed and produced the result of an individuals sense of “class essentialism”. The wealthier the respondent the deeper sense of “class essentialism” the individual possessed. Wealthy respondents were found to believe that class was based on genetics. The same respondents also believed that life was fair and you what you deserve. However, those belonging to a lower class believed class and wealthiness has nothing to with genetics.
Addiction begins with a positive response to a specific behavior. Chasing the same behavior for the same response may trigger addiction.
Some people have become addicted to earning money. I am sure that at one point of time you have received a rather large amount of money to fill up that empty wallet you once had. Think about the feeling you had when your wallet was now full of money, did it feel good to have money in your pockets? I am sure it did, and this good feeling, or positive response could lead to addiction. Compulsive shopping follows the same process. When a compulsive shopper buys something their brain releases dopamine, a feel good chemical. This positive response leads to the person chasing this behavior more and more to feel the positive response, thus leading to addiction. These addictions like any other has the potential to become dangerous. The want for money may become dangerous if you begin to perform illegal acts to get money. Compulsive shopping can become dangerous when you put either yourself or others at risk if you spend more bank than you can bring in.
Morals and Ethics:
Who is more likely to not follow the rules? Whether it’s interrupting someone or taking more than one piece of candy from that candy bowl that has a sign clearly stating to please only take one piece, one study set out to find an answer. Respondents that found themselves as a higher class were more likely to break the rules as long as it benefitted them. The “What do I have to gain from it” mindset is more often possessed by those who hold a higher wealth class. They pursue the most benefits for themselves, making them great for the business industry. So does business and or money have much room for ethics? Nope, not really.
After further review there seems to be apparent correlation between wealthiness and selfishness. The more wealthy you seem to be the more selfish you are. If you have more wealthy your even more likely to bend the rules from time to time to benefit your favor.
Even having more money could make you believe you are rich just from your genetics and that you deserve to be rich. This all may be real but the way someone acts when they run into money could also be affected by the way they were raised. So yes money can have the potential to change someone. Money can even make a person go crazy with an addiction.
Alright, this is going to be a pretty long article with tons of information on how to increase your confidence. The whole thing is going to be centered around the idea of changing yourself. I know lots of people are going to comment about why you shouldn’t change yourself, but let me explain. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always gotten. If you want more in life, you’re going to have to change, and in relationship to this video when changing we are always going to grow, that is in a positive manner.
So the first tip I’m going to give is to be more self aware.
You have to own up to your weaknesses and be self-aware of what your insecurities are to become more confident. If you’re self-esteem is pretty low, its most likely because you have a ton of insecurities and you don’t value yourself. I know it’s hard, and it’s a decision you’re going to have to make on your own, but to be more confident, you’ll have to own up to the parts of you that suck. Here’s some examples; for me, I get really jealous in a relationship.
Even just seeing my girlfriend talking to some other guy gets to me. Another insecurity is my hairline, oh my gosh I have a horrible hairline. That sucker mixed with my weird cow licks just seems to condemn me to long hair, which is going to be interesting when I start balding. Anyways, the idea is to own up to insecurities, and figure out if you can change them. I can’t really change my hairline, but I can change my jealousy if I work on it.
It might take years, and a huge mindset change, but I’m working on it and it’s that easy. See how I can actually joke about my terrible hairline? It’s because I owned up to it; it’s not a part of me I can control, so I don’t see it as something I identify with. I’m more confident because I know my weaknesses and I’m working on them. It’s difficult at first, but when you own up to your insecurities, and claim them, it becomes easier to care less what other’s think of you. Stop comparing yourself to other people, instead compare yourself to previous versions of yourself, that’s accurate data to work it. Change your understanding of yourself.
The next tip is to change your thinking.
To be more confident, you’ll definitely have to change your thinking. Now, there is a fine line between thinking confidently and thinking arrogantly. If you think arrogantly, you’re going to become a scummy person and fall into the pitfalls and failures of an egotistical person described in Ego is the Enemy. Your goal should be to think positively. Specifically of yourself. I don’t care how many negative traits you have or claim, if you want to be more confident, you’re going to have to overlook those and stop focusing them. There’s this big huge law in personal development called the law of attraction; which means the more your focus on something, the more it will manifest itself in your life. Focus on your weaknesses and they’ll become worse.
Focus on your strengths, and they’ll grow. Just like the author of The Magic of Thinking Big says, if you focus on something, even if it’s insanely out there, like owning a Lamborghini by the end of the year, if you truly focus on it, your brain will start to find ways to make it happen. It will start focusing on the possibility and the steps you need to take to complete that goal.
Your mind is the most powerful tool you have, so put it to use and start focusing on the positive in your life and through perception, the negative will start to fade away. Now, there are times like drug addiction or other serious life problems where you shouldn’t just sweep that under the rug, but when someone says something rude to you or even something like your car doesn’t start; ignore the negative and look at the positive. Now you get to search for a new ride to work and maybe even meet a future best friend of business partner.
Another way to be more confident is to forgive yourself of anything you’ve ever held on to. This might only apply to one person watching this video, but if it helps them grow out of that dark place they are in, it’s worth my time to talk about it. It’s not your fault, and if it is, dwelling over it isn’t going to get you anywhere. Become a better person and grow from it. Even if it’s just one step to forgive yourself, it’s a step in the right direction. There are a couple things in my life I’ve had to forgive myself of, one took a really hard toll on me because I particularly hurt a lot of people in my life (I might talk about this is future videos), but I forgave myself from it and look how many people I’m helping now. Moving on, let’s talk about cognitive dissonance.
So some famous psychologist said that if we reduce cognitive dissonance in our lives, we become healthier individuals and in turn, become more authentic and confident. First, cognitive dissonance is when the things you feel, think, and say are different from the actions you actually take. For example, if I think someone shouldn’t be doing something, but I don’t say anything because they are a person of power or authority, I am creating cognitive dissonance in my mind. Another example is the mental stress of is someone driving a car bad for the environment, but would agree they were an environmentally friendly person. Cognitive dissonance can happen even without you knowing and becoming more self-aware and knowing the full outcomes of your decisions will help in this area, although cognitive dissonance is still technically a theory. Reducing conflicting beliefs is the basic idea of this tip.
Everyone has the voice in their head that critiques their actions. In fact some people have intrusive thoughts that tell them to jump off that cliff or to throw the baby their holding, some even have thoughts to kill elderly people, or even the thought of how easy it would be when they’re around them. This doesn’t pertain to the video really, but it’s called intrusive thoughts and is something we all have, I found it interesting, weird, but didn’t want to make a whole video on it. Anyways, back to the inner critic, when you do things, you have to stop your inner critic from talking. “Oh, you’re doing that wrong” “She will think you’re so weird” “Your extremist father wouldn’t want you to do this” These type of thoughts limit us and are dangerous to our own self-worth. Usually these inner thoughts are about what other people will think, and should just be dismissed. Don’t let them creep in. To be a more confident person, you have to think more clearly without this second belittling voice chirp in it’s two cents.
Groom, dress, and look nice!
How you look affects your own confidence, if you feel like you’re walking around in baggy clothes that put down your name, you will feel it, you will think it, and it will come out in your actions. However, some people, including me, have noticed that just by wearing more “preppy” clothes, or a suit and tie, your actions, your thoughts will literally change!
Set small goals and achieve them.
For me, this was one of the biggest things that got me the initial confidence I needed to get out of a really depressed spot in my life. I started running, actually I started walking, and I would walk around the block just once, and then when I went the second week, and walk around twice, it was this huge accomplishment that really helped me. The idea here is to set goals, achievable goals, and make sure you’re always challenging yourself, and hitting what your challenges are. I hit 1000 subscribers, then 10,000, then 100,000 and my confidence just blew up. Be careful with this though, as stated in my “ego is the enemy” book review, this can turn into arrogance and you’ll be blind to where you can improve. Take the confidence and use it better yourself, start by setting small goals and achieve them.
Hang around more confident people. This is just common sense and works for anything. If you want to be a better accountant, hang around other great accountants, if you want to be a great COD player, spend time around other great COD players. Find people who have already achieved the goals you wish to achieve, and spend some time around them, it’s like a shortcut, not a cheat code, because everyone has this opportunity, you just have to put in the work, the hours, and the effort to spend your time around people you want to be like. Remember that saying, “you are the average sum of the 5 people in your life you spend most of your time around?’ it’s true. If you want to be more confident, spend more time around confident people.
Learn to appreciate everything in your world, including yourself. Sometime it takes falling in love for you to realize that someone can see everything great about you. There are so amazing things in this world, on this planet, and in your circle of influence that you can be appreciative about, don’t take them for granted.
A short term method to increase temporary confidence is to change your body language. In fact, body language is the only thing you can fake until you make when it comes to confidence. Your physiological posture will change the hormones in your blood and brain and make you feel more confident. Walk like you’re going somewhere. Tilt your chin up just enough that you’re more confident but not arrogant. Smiling helps a lot since positivity is related to self-esteem. Pull your shoulders back and if you’re sitting, keep your legs pointed towards people. Put your hands together in a Sherlock Holmes fashion so only your fingertips are touching. When talking, look people in the eyes. These tips help most people feel more confident within a couple of seconds, so they might work for you too.
Another short term change is to change the way you look, although this can delve into the long term. Some people get a sense of security and confidence from fitting in, which contradicts our first tip, but does work for some people. Wearing popular clothes, the newest sunglasses and even wearing a great cologne fragrance can help increase your temporary confidence, while making more long-term changes to your body through weightlifting, exercising and diet can also impact your self-esteem levels. This is where being self-aware comes in play, you have to know which style will help you be more confident and which will be easier for you.
Hey guys, I hope you enjoyed this video, and learned something, and if you want to repay me or this channel in the slightest, just leave a like below, it’ll help me know which type of videos to make more of, and watch other channels, thanks for everything, much love!
The idea of long distance relationships opens a debate between those who believe it is possible to pull off and those who think it’s just a matter of time until one partner bails out. Looking from a psychological perspective, the possibility of success and the chances of failure are fairly balanced out. Depending on various factors, long distance relationships can function just as well as those in which partners live close to each other. In fact, recent studies have shown that between people with strong emotional connection, the longer the distance is, the better the relationship functions.
However, this depends on how much both sides are dedicated to the common goal of keeping the relationship alive. A few aspects such as commitment, trust and loyalty have a great psychological impact on the success of a relationship. While all three aspects are relevant for geographically close relationships as well, when speaking of long distance relationships things need to be taken to a further level.
The number one reason everyone assumes LDRs will fail is lack of trust in terms of being sure the person will stay loyal to you. This is a common, natural reaction because the first thing that comes to mind when being apart from someone is being replaced. Our thoughts are influenced by high levels of anxiety we feel when we realize that someone else could easily be taking our place. In attempts to protect us from being hurt, our brain tends to highlight all the negative aspects to prepare us for the worst.
This is an inevitable process but that doesn’t mean it cannot be controlled. In nearly every case, one person will at some point feel insecure and unsure of the long distance relationship. This depends on how strong are the foundations of the relationship itself. Couples who have created strong bonds over longer periods of time are less likely to experience these issues than couples who hadn’t been together for that long.
The way around this issue is constant reassurance. It is necessary for both sides to show their interest in maintaining the relationship. The key to building trust in a long distance relationship is keeping your partner up to date with everything that is going on in your life. They themselves are a part of your life which is reason enough to include them in everything else.
Simply letting your partner know about your plans and openly talking to them about your whereabouts will strengthen the trust between you. The way to build intimacy over a long distance is showing your partner bits and pieces of your day by taking photos or short videos. Sharing this will make them feel included in your daily life which will significantly improve the relationship as well as communication. Luckily, today’s technology has made this way too easy for couples all around the world with numbers of communication options such as video chat and voice messages.
No matter how much two people trust each other, when stepping into a long distance relationship, trust becomes a thin ice. If one person is caught in even the smallest, most irrelevant lie, it triggers a series of thoughts and insecurity which will lead to the other person questioning the whole relationship. That is, again, our brain’s self defense system which is a natural reaction that cannot be shut off. No matter how insignificant the lie is, it can shake the whole foundation and cause serious damage to the whole relationship. It is crucial to avoid causing insecurity in any way. In contrary, the key to a successful long distance relationship is confidence. Being confident that you will and you want to spend your life with that person will make them feel confident as well and that alone will solve most of the insecurities caused by the distance.
Studies have shown that staying positive and avoiding negative thoughts almost always leads to positive results. This goes for every aspect of life, not just relationships. So instead of counting the days you’ve been apart, count down how many days are left until you reunite with your partner. Look at things from the bright side, instead of taking each day as one more day without them, think of it as one day closer to seeing them. A positive mindset will leave you stress-free and allow you to enjoy your relationship as well as perform better in other areas of life such as work or college.
A study by Katherine Maguire back in 2007 shows that couples who stay positive and take their long distance as temporary, knowing they will reunite soon in the future, are much happier and less distressed in general. To keep a long distance relationship healthy and satisfying, it is important to constantly show your partner you care and wish to keep them in your life, no matter how difficult the circumstances are. Surprising them with old school love letters or even a visit here and then will highly improve the quality of the relationship. Understanding the psychology of trust issues will help you stay in a long distance relationship much, much longer.
In many terms, long distance relationships tend to be stronger than geographically close ones. According to a 2013 study by researches from Cornell University and the City University of Hong Kong, people who are apart from their partners tend to idealize them a lot more than those who are constantly surrounded by their presence. Reason being, the distance makes us miss the person we are close with to the point where we often daydream about them.
When daydreaming, our brain wanders around imagining that person just how we want them to be. This often involves lots of exaggeration but studies have confirmed that it has a great impact on the quality of the relationship. Another reason why long distance relationship can be stronger than geographically close ones is better communication. If both people are willing to put in the effort of maintaining the relationship, they will find ways to communicate more effectively and avoid arguing as much as possible.
When reuniting, long distance couples focus on making every second count so they do their best not to waste time arguing. This is something other couples overlook because they have enough time with each other but what they don’t realize is that they are still negatively affecting their relationship.
As much as LDRs can be tiring and mentally draining, they can positively affect our mindset and life in general. As long as the right amount of trust and commitment is present in the relationship from both sides equally, chances of success are highly increased. What will most positively affect the relationship, in the psychological aspect, is knowing that both partners are equally committed and loyal to one another. Staying positive about the distance and knowing it is not forever will help you deal with the situation more easily.
Trying to take your mind off of the fact that you are physically apart from your significant other is very important. You can do this by finding a hobby or a TV show which you both enjoy. Sharing these little things with them will make you feel closer and forget about the distance even for a little bit.
In a 2012 study by University of Denver, researchers followed 870 people in the U.S. who were in long distance relationships. Most of them stated with certainty that they will be dating that person next year as well and that they will eventually marry them. However, after they received a follow-up questionnaire about five months later, one fifth of them had broken up. That shows how confidently people get into long distance relationships without realizing the amount of patience and understanding it requires.
In fact, the hardest thing is maintaining that confidence throughout the relationship. After months of not seeing your partner, chances are you might grow apart. However, those who are committed and ready to do what it takes to keep the relationship working will surely succeed. When in love, people wont allow themselves to see perfection in anyone else other than their chosen one. This mindset is the one that is surely going to make it through the long distance relationship.
To sum up our analysis of the psychological aspects of long distance relationships, it is important to point out three main issues. The issue of trust, the issue of commitment and the issue of the mindset. The issue of trust is an inevitable part of any long distance relationship, especially if the couple hadn’t been together for long. It is important to remember that it takes time to build up trust and only two seconds to destroy it. The issue of commitment is a matter of how much effort you’re willing to put into the relationship. If you wont give it your all, it is not worth it. Last but not least, the issue of the mindset. The mindset is proven to influence your relationship as well your performance at work. These are aspects of life which are a reflection of your thoughts. Positive thoughts will cause positive outcomes and less stress which is the key to a happy life.
In the last decade or so, the idea of the Law of Attraction has become pretty mainstream. You’ve probably heard of it by now, and maybe someone even recommended that you read or watch The Secret. If you haven’t heard of the Law of Attraction or could use a refresher, no worries—we’ll be going over all the basics today, starting with what it is.
The Law of Attraction is said to be a force that is at work at all times, attracting the things we focus on into our lives. Essentially, it boils down to “like attracts like.” That means that if you have a positive mindset, you attract good things into your life, and if you have a negative one, it’s less favourable things that you attract. Every area of our lives, including our careers, relationships, health, and finances, is affected by the Law of Attraction.
Proponents of the philosophy say that, because it’s our attention that determines what our lives are like, we can attract the things we want if we can manage where our attention lies. The key is to shift our focus, keeping it on the things that we want and away from the things we don’t. It can be difficult to do, but there are a few commonly used techniques to help anyone do it.
One of the simplest and most popular techniques is the use of a vision board. The first step is, of course, to make your vision board. Make a list of the things you want—they could be material objects, a particular job, a loving relationship, a state of being, anything at all. Once you’ve clearly defined what you want, collect images that reflect the things on your list and assemble them into a collage. You can also include words or phrases if they help express your goals. You can assemble them any way you like, but it’s a good idea to use something like a cork board so you can add and remove images as time goes on.
When you feel good about how your board looks, hang it up somewhere you’ll see it a lot. Its purpose is to act as a reminder of where your focus should be so having it in clear view is important. Now, every time you see your board, take a minute to think of the things on it and imagine how it would feel to already have all of those things. Feel happy, feel excited, feel grateful. Deciding on what you want to have formed an intention, but the emotion tied to the intention is a huge part of attracting what you want. Placing your focus without putting any energy behind it leaves it basically dead in the water.
Affirmations are another way to help you shift your focus. Affirmations are phrases that reinforce positive feelings and help you stick with a new mindset. So, for example, if you’ve been sick but want to get healthy, try saying an affirmation like, “My body is strong and resilient.” As you say the words, imagine that your body already is strong and resilient, that you’ve already reached your goal of health. Focus on how that feels and hold onto it for a few minutes. Again, that emotion behind your intention is really important to attracting what you want.
The third technique is visualization. It should be done while you’re very relaxed or, ideally, while meditating. Start by finding a suitable place to do your visualization. Pick somewhere where you can really get comfortable, whether that’s indoors or outdoors, in silence or with quiet music. Whatever works for you is great. Breathe deeply, clear your mind, and if you can, get into a meditative state. Then, build a picture in our mind of what you want. See the goal with as much detail as possible. Include scents, sounds, physical sensations, and even smell if you can. And don’t imagine the road to reaching the goal, just the goal itself. For example, if you want to be a teacher, imagine being in your classroom. Imagine writing on the chalkboard for your students. Can you feel the dustiness of the chalk? Hear the students behind you? What does your classroom look like? Once you’ve got a clear image of your goal or the thing you desire, imagine how it would feel to attain that goal. Hold onto the joy, confidence, pride, comfort, and other positive feelings that come up and affirm that that’s what you’re now attracting.
Now, while you’re going through the process of realigning your thinking there are a couple of things to keep in mind. One is to make sure your focus is on the positive or what you do want as opposed to what you don’t want. So, returning to the health example, focus on becoming healthy, not on overcoming illness. If you focus on “overcoming illness”, the idea of illness is still included your focus which could attract more of it. So keep the subject what you want to make sure you’re not accidentally attracting the opposite.
Another thing to mention is that it’s not only your conscious focus that impacts what you attract—your subconscious mind and unconscious mind both have an effect too. Changing the beliefs hidden below the surface can be tricky, but it’s doable. As you consciously change your focus, you might notice doubts and fears come to light. As they do, try to work through them– do your best to figure out why you feel those fears and to let them go. Then, as you continue to reinforce your new positive beliefs, they will start to replace the underlying negativity that might have been helping to attract things you didn’t want. This step can definitely take time, but keep at it and you’ll notice the changes in the way you think and feel.
And then there’s the importance of letting go. As important as it is to hold focus on the things you desire, there has to be some amount of release as well. Obsessing can turn negative if you don’t get what you want right away or in the way you expect. It’ll lead to doubt and disappointment which definitely won’t attract the things you’re after. Let go of your expectations and trust that what you want will come to you.
But letting go doesn’t mean you can just sit back and wait. There’s a misconception that using the Law of Attraction to get what you want means things will just fall into your lap. While it’s always a possibility, chances are you’re still going to have to work for that new job or take steps toward meeting that special someone. You might attract opportunities that lead you to your end goal, and if you don’t act, you’ll never get there. Take advantage of the stepping stones that you’ve worked hard to bring into your life! They’ll lead you to where you want to be.
And those are the basics of the Law of Attraction.
You might be thinking, “That sounds pretty new age-y,” and honestly, it is popular among new age groups. But there are scientific reasons to believe that the way you think affects the way you feel. Take the placebo effect—if you believe a pill will make you feel better, it often will regardless of whether it’s actually medicine or a simple sugar pill. There are countless documented cases of people experiencing spontaneous remission from serious conditions after a shift in the way they think. If your thoughts and feelings can affect your body, is it so unreasonable to believe that they can affect other parts of your life too?I hope this helped give you an idea of what the Law of Attraction is and how people claim it can be used to achieve goals. If there’s something you want to change about your life, why not try some of the techniques covered in this video and see what happens? And if you’ve tried them before, let me know in the comments what your experience was like!
You’ve probably heard stories about people who recovered from illness after being given medication that they didn’t know was just sugar pills. The idea seems bizarre, but the phenomenon isn’t all that uncommon. In the scientific community, it’s known as the placebo effect. Basically, it’s mind over matter and a demonstration of the mind-body connection.
The word “placebo” is from the latin for “I shall please.” It’s any medicine or treatment that isn’t known to have any relevant therapeutic effect but is given to patients to help them feel better psychologically. The term “placebo effect” describes the positive effects that the patient experiences after taking a placebo. It’s the result of their belief in the treatment’s power to help them feel better rather than the treatment itself.
But every coin has two sides. While the placebo effect is when a person’s belief makes them feel good, the nocebo effect is when a person’s belief makes them feel bad. It’s sometimes seen in patients after they’re told about side effects of their treatment or they’re given a grim prognosis. If they start to believe that they’ll experience negative things, they can, even if they’ve only been given a harmless sugar pill.
A popular story about these effects is the case of Mr. Wright. In 1950, Dr. Bruno Klopfer was approached by his patient, Mr. Wright, about a new experimental cancer treatment called Krebiozen. Mr. Wright was suffering from advanced cancer of the lymph nodes and had tumors the size of oranges throughout his body. He knew he didn’t have much time left. Dr. Klopfer gave Mr. Wright just one dose of the medicine and in a few days the patient’s health was significantly better. After 10 days, there was no trace of cancer in his body and he was released from the hospital feeling great. But two months later, Mr. Wright came across an article about Krebiozen claiming that it was not an effective treatment at all. He became depressed and his cancer came back. Dr. Klopfer then decided to tell Mr. Wright that he had a new version of Krebiozen with an improved formula that was more effective and administered a dose. What Mr. Wright didn’t know was that he was actually injected with a bit of distilled water. Regardless, his tumors disappeared and he was in great health for another two months. He then saw the official statement that Krebiozen was ineffective, and he died two days later.
Mr. Wright’s story is a perfect example of both the placebo effect and nocebo effect at work. His belief in the treatment he was receiving caused him to get better, and his belief that it was useless caused him to get sicker. The medicine had no physiological effect on his body; it was entirely his thoughts and feelings about it that caused his body to respond.
So how does the placebo effect work? Scientists aren’t entirely sure, but there are a few theories. One is the subject-expectancy effect, which is when people unconsciously change their reaction to match the reaction they’re told they will have. Another is classic conditioning, which suggests people experience improvement with medicine because that’s what they’ve come to expect. Both theories are based in the idea that the patients expectations contribute to a particular result.
But it’s not only in the patient’s head; their expectations lead to real, physical responses that can be measured. In a 2004 study at the University of Michigan, participants were given painful jaw injections while their brains were monitored using a PET scanner. When they were given placebos and told that they were painkillers, every person’s brain scans showed activation in the parts of the brain that process and respond to pain. It was their belief in the placebo caused their pain relief systems to kick in. In other studies, effects like relaxation of muscles and nerves have been documented as well. It’s hard evidence that our minds and the way we think can affect our bodies.
And because it’s the mind at the root of the physical change, many people claim it’s possible to take advantage of the placebo effect to benefit our bodies in a variety of ways. It’s just a matter of picking something to act as your placebo and forming expectations about the outcome of using it. For example, there was a study done where two groups of hotel maids were monitored: one group acted as the control and continued to work as usual while the other group was told that their daily work was good exercise. The maids who believed they were getting exercise lost weight and lowered their blood pressure. In their case, their activity was their placebo and their expected outcome was that it would benefit their bodies in the way that exercise does—better health and weight loss.
So what do you want to change? If you want to lose weight, expect your daily activities or the food you eat to be fat-burning. If you want to grow more hair, expect your shampoo to stimulate its growth. But it’s not enough to just decide—you have to form a solid belief, and that’s the tricky part. As mentioned before, one reason why placebos seen as medicine help with healing is that people have been conditioned to see medicine as healing. If you can condition yourself to believe the activity you’re doing gives the outcome you want, it’s possible to see it happen.
So start with repetition. Tell yourself over and over, especially while doing the activity or taking the substance that is acting as your placebo, that it will result in your desired outcome. The idea will start to sink in and you’ll be forming a belief which your body will then respond to physically. Another option is to use meditation or hypnosis to help solidify that belief. While in the mental states associated with meditation or hypnosis you are more suggestible and more open to accepting new information.
Some experts recommend also attaching an emotion to help set the belief and to get the brain responding to it. While you’re repeating the new belief you’re trying to integrate, something like “doing X will cause Y to happen”, imagine how it would feel to experience that outcome. You might feel happiness, satisfaction, gratitude… any strong, positive emotion is said to be helpful. And that makes sense; after all, patients who are hopeful and excited about the idea that their new medicine will make them feel better are more likely to experience positive change on a placebo.
Another interesting concept is achieving the placebo effect without anything acting as a placebo. Some believe it’s possible to skip the action you’ve been performing or the product you’ve been using and just go straight to convincing yourself that your body is capable to doing the thing you want it to, whether that’s healing an ailment, changing your mood, losing weight, or whatever other physical change you want to see. It’s typically easier to form a belief using something as a placebo, but for people who are more open to suggestion and committed to changing their expectations, apparently it can be done.
Whether we recognize that our mind impacts our bodies or not, it’s becoming increasingly clear with scientific studies and anecdotal evidence that there’s a link between the two. If we can get ourselves into the habit of thinking in certain ways and believing certain things, we can change our bodies and heal from all kinds of illnesses. The placebo effect and the mind-body connection is still something of a mystery, but there’s no doubt that a world of possibilities will open up when we learn exactly how it works.
A well-known term among psychologists, scientists, and even modern culture is “left-” and “right-“ brain. You may have heard one of these terms yourself, as a means of someone else describing you. Maybe someone remarked upon your amazing math skills, telling you how you’re a left-brain thinker; or maybe you painted an awe-inspiring picture, and someone remarked upon your right-brain thinking talents. You may have even taken a test to determine which brain hemisphere you’re more oriented to, if you’ve stumbled upon this topic on your own.
So, what do the terms ‘left-brain’ and ‘right-brain’ mean?
Often times, ‘left-brained’ is a term used to describe logical, analytical, and calculating individuals; for example, scientists, mathematicians, lawyers, accountants, and most people who work with technology are all people who could be considered “left-brained”. On the other hand (or hemisphere), ‘right-brained’ is often used to describe creative, intuitive, and emotionally-based people; for example, artists, psychologists, graphic and interior designers, song-writers, as well as art therapists. “Left” and “right” brain are both phrases used for labelling, but also for scientific purposes. Scientists and neuropsychologists alike have studied the two hemispheres of the brain for over five decades; with the pioneer of the study, Roger Wolcott Sperry, being given a Nobel Prize in 1981 for his work with split-brain research. Nobelprize.org summarizes Sperry’s work as, “…One way [Sperry] studied these functions was by examining patients whose hemisphere-connecting nerves had been severed to alleviate serious epilepsy. By the 1960s, he could reveal that the left hemisphere is more geared toward abstract and analytical thought, calculation, and linguistic ability, while the right hemisphere is more important for comprehending spatial patterns and complex sounds like music.”
If left-brained thinking is considered digital thinking, focusing on topics such as calculation and analysis of the world; and right-brained thinking is considered analog thinking, focusing on topics such as art and creativity, you might be wondering if it’s possible for a person to be both left-brain and right-brain thinkers, or mentally ambidextrous. You might think you’re mentally ambidextrous yourself, neither 100% left-brained, nor 100% right-brained. If so, don’t worry, there is such a thing as mental ambidexterity. In fact, most successful and innovative people practice using both their left and right brain hemispheres.
Statistician George E.P. Box said, “For the theory-practice iteration to work, the scientist must be, as it were, mentally ambidextrous; fascinated equally on the one hand by possible meanings, theories, and tentative models to be induced from data and the practical reality of the real world, and on the other with the factual implications deducible from tentative theories, models and hypotheses.”
Author F. Scott Fitzgerald says,” The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.”
While Box’s idea focuses on the mental ambidexterity of the scientist, and Fitzgerald’s idea focuses on two sides of an opposed system working together, practicing using both hemispheres of the brain is an important trait to possess for everyday life. Larry Schmitt of theinovogroup.com writes, “Mental ambidexterity is not just about holding two opposing ideas in mind at once. It is, instead, about thinking and behaving in two diametrically opposing ways depending on the situation. This is most often manifested as the operational excellence (efficiency) perspective and the business transformation (experimentation) perspective. The ability to be mentally ambidextrous is to be able to accommodate both the efficiency perspective and the experimentation perspective, and to know when and how to behave using the appropriate perspective.”
Schmitt gives a great example of how to use both brain hemispheres in business, but his example can also be translated in daily life. Both brain hemispheres can be used to create balance and accord; in relationships, business and career, personal perspective, problem-solving, as well as even with health. By practicing duo-hemisphere thinking, you can become a creative problem-solver, an analytical designer, a passionate calculator, or even able to balance when you use emotionally-charged thinking, and practice logical thinking. Even if you are skeptical to whether or not the brain hemispheres have any significance to your mental process, or if you fully believe that left and right brain thinking is scientifically provable, it is always important and imperative in every situation to act appropriately – you can always improve your reactivity and also your strengths, even if you’re not basing your behavior and mental process off of a hemisphere chart.
Even after learning all of this information about the left and right hemispheres of the brain, you may be asking yourself: does the opposing brain-hemisphere concept really exist? How is it possible that one side of my brain thinks in a certain way, while the other one behaves completely differently? Is it actually possible for one side of my brain to be dominant over the other?
Some people say that the idea of left-brain and right-brain thinking is a myth. Christopher Wanjek at LiveScience.com writes, “Now, scientists at the University of Utah have debunked the myth with an analysis of more than 1,000 brains. They found no evidence that people preferentially use their left or right brain. All of the study participants — and no doubt the scientists — were using their entire brain equally, throughout the course of the experiment. — The preference to use one brain region more than others for certain functions, which scientists call lateralization, is indeed real, said lead author Dr. Jeff Anderson, director of the fMRI Neurosurgical Mapping Service at the University of Utah. For example, speech emanates from the left side of the brain for most right-handed people. This does not imply, though, that great writers or speakers use their left side of the brain more than the right, or that one side is richer in neurons.”
What does this mean for Roger Sperry’s groundbreaking work on the brain hemispheres? Well, it might mean that his research is outdated. Considering the revolution of the mind and society as a whole since Sperry’s original experiment was conducted in the 1960’s, it wouldn’t be too surprising that humans now use both sides of their brains equally. Perhaps at one time, when people (and life) were far less complex, it was easier and made sense to put people into mental categories and labels. Each generation is born with different genes, different cells, and over time, a nearly completely different genetic and chemical makeup – their brains and mental processes being no exception. Considering Sperry’s work was conducted over 50 years ago, it might be time for a scientific update. Let’s put it into perspective like this: neuroscience was first emerging as a major field of study in the 1960’s, with experiments and theories such as Sperry’s being conducted and executed. We knew little about the brain, and neuroscience and neuropsychology began emerging, being met with many questions. However, we currently know much more about the brain than ever before: neuroscientists are now able to change the emotional makeup of memories, we understand how and why the brain works, and we are even able to conduct experiments that show that individuals may (or may not) use both sides of their brains equally. Times, ideas, and theories are constantly changing, and the brain hemispheres are no exception to this universal rule.
So maybe rather than a person’s characteristics being categorized into their dominant brain hemisphere, this can now be seen simply as their personality traits. It is more likely than not that individuals are merely more logic-oriented or creativity-focused, rather than using one hemisphere of their brain only. This evidence can also be found in taking a look at a brain hemisphere model chart; some (and most) people possess a mixture of the traits, characteristics, and skills listed on left and right brain charts. It is very rare, and often fictional, to find a person who completely fits into one category of a brain hemisphere. Some people are talented at math, but also very good at creating artistic pieces. Other people are very analytical, but can also use their imagination to varying extents. Cheri Cheng at counselheal.com confirms this idea, writing, “Everyone should understand the personality types associated with the terminology ‘left-brained’ and ‘right-brained’ and how they relate to him or her personally; however, we just don’t see patterns where the whole left-brain network is more connected or the whole right-brain network is more connected in some people. It may be that personality types have nothing to do with one hemisphere being more active, stronger, or more connected,” said researcher Jared Nielsen.”
The general verdict is this: in the 1960’s, Sperry’s research may have been (and most likely was) true. However, in modern times, the idea of left and right brain thinking has been debunked. It is now more a matter of opinion, and what you wish to believe. The fact of the matter is; science, neuroscience, and psychology as a whole are consistently coming up with new ideas, facts, and information. Scientifically, what may be true today, could be proven incorrect tomorrow.