Am I A Difficult Person Quiz (Free 3 Min Test + No Email)

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It’s hard to avoid working with people. Humans live and work in communities of all sizes. Very often, whether those communities work at an office together or live in the same neighborhood, they come together to achieve certain goals. This can be done easily - unless difficult people in the mix have their own agendas.

For the most part, people and larger communities do not want to deal with difficult people. Difficult people halt progress, refuse to work in a team, or just anger the people around them! You may be able to think of a difficult person at your job, in your neighborhood, or within your social circles. If you can’t, you may find that you ask yourself, “Am I a Difficult Person?” 

difficult person test results

Let this test help you figure out whether or not you are a difficult person. If you are, there is hope. Difficult people can change their ways and be more cooperative with the people around them. The first step toward doing that is recognizing that you can be difficult and making a commitment to making changes for the sake of others.  

Signs of a Difficult Person 

examples of difficult people

What makes a person difficult? Usually, the person is a lone wolf, only thinking about themselves and regarding themselves as the best and brightest person in every room. A difficult person fails to recognize the strengths (or potential strengths) of other people and does not take the time to see another person’s perspective. 

If the following sound like you, you very well might be a difficult person. 

Their Way or the Highway 

Difficult people prioritize themselves over anyone else. They want an end result that satisfies them. Anything less is very frustrating to them, and they often don’t allow it! Often, the fear of not getting their way causes difficult people to do anything to get their way. Manipulating others, lying, cheating, or stealing is not off the table. What is most important to a difficult person is that they are satisfied. 

Argumentative and Overly Competitive 

Sometimes, people want to sit around and laugh together. Not everything has to be a competition or debate. Difficult people have trouble interacting in this type of environment. They will try to start an argument, even if that argument is just “in good fun.” To them, a debate is like a sport, even when the topics they are debating are personal, tragic, or affect the lives of people in the group. 

Isolated From Others 

People don’t want to be around difficult people. They will work with them if they have to, but they won’t choose to be around them. Difficult people will not likely be invited to the after-work happy hours or holiday parties held at someone’s home. Coworkers, neighbors, or friends will assume that the difficult person will just make those events a competition, an argument, or a frustrating event. 

Sometimes, this doesn’t bother a difficult person. Other people frustrate them. They see other people only as tools to help them get their way. If people are preventing them, they are usually of no interest to the difficult person. But that isolation can get to a person over time.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs suggests that humans need love and a sense of belonging before they can pursue things like self-actualization. If you find that you fit the description of a “difficult person,” and would like to work better with others or be a part of a group, keep hope alive! It’s possible to make some adjustments to your mindset and behavior. 

What To Do If You're A Difficult Person 

If your test results say that you are a difficult person, do not worry. Difficult people are often the product of their environment. Something about how you were raised or what you were taught has shaped the mindset that makes you “difficult.” There is nothing to be ashamed of. Even with the best of intentions, our parents, teachers, and community leaders may not teach us the right things about responsibility, community, and respect. 

Take some time to reflect on these results. Take out a journal and write about conflicts you may have experienced at work, school, or in your community. What actions and mindset did you hold that could be classified as difficult? How do you think those actions made the people around you feel? 

If you are dedicated to becoming a less difficult person, you are already on your way. We all make mistakes and might be misguided. Luckily, we are all also capable of change. Try to adopt these three behaviors or mindset shifts to make yourself a less difficult person. 

Listen to Other People

Remember that you have two ears and one mouth. Take time to listen to what people have to say. Their experiences are just as valid as yours. Even if your instinct is to brush off what other people are saying as uninformed or incorrect, try taking them at their word. See what happens when you believe their experiences and trust in them. Even if they aren’t right in the end, they will appreciate that you saw things from their perspective or let them attempt to solve a problem their way. 

Win Together 

Not everything has to have winners and losers. If you give other people the chance to win with you, you will find that they are much more likely to help you in return. Instead of asking yourself how you can win against other people, ask yourself how you can win with other people. That may require asking other people what winning (or achieving their goals) looks like for them. 

Reach Out to a Coach or Counselor

If you find yourself holding back and wanting to debate these ideas, it may be helpful to reach out to a professional coach or counselor. Having honest conversations about your worldview and perspectives may help you understand why people find you difficult and what you can do to change the way that you see the world and interact with it. There is no shame in reaching out to a professional to help you make adjustments and become a better team player!

10 Ways To Deal With Difficult People (Including Examples)

Dealing with a difficult person can be challenging, but there are some strategies you can use to make the situation more manageable. Here are ten things you can do:

  1. Remain calm and composed: When dealing with a difficult person, it's essential to keep your cool. Don't let your emotions get the best of you, and try to stay calm and composed throughout the interaction. Take deep breaths and keep your tone of voice even.

Example: If someone is yelling at you, try not to yell back. Instead, speak in a calm and measured tone.

  1. Listen actively: Pay attention to what the difficult person is saying and try to understand their perspective. Listen actively and show that you are interested in what they have to say.

Example: If someone is complaining about their work, ask them questions about their concerns and try to understand their point of view.

  1. Avoid arguing or being defensive: Don't argue or become defensive when dealing with a difficult person. This will only escalate the situation and make things worse. Instead, try to find common ground or compromise.

Example: If someone is accusing you of something, try to explain your perspective calmly and avoid becoming defensive.

  1. Focus on the problem, not the person: Keep your focus on the problem at hand and avoid attacking the difficult person. Don't make personal attacks or criticize them, as this will only make things worse.

Example: If a coworker is not meeting their deadlines, focus on finding a solution to the problem rather than criticizing them personally.

  1. Use "I" statements: Use "I" statements to express your feelings and thoughts. This can help to prevent the difficult person from becoming defensive and can make it easier to find a resolution.

Example: Instead of saying "You're being unreasonable," try saying "I feel frustrated when I don't have all the information I need to do my job."

  1. Be empathetic: Try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and understand how they are feeling. This can help you to communicate more effectively and find a resolution to the problem.

Example: If a customer is upset, try to understand why they are upset and offer a solution that meets their needs.

  1. Set boundaries: If the difficult person is behaving inappropriately or making you feel uncomfortable, set boundaries. Be clear about what you will and will not tolerate.

Example: If a coworker is constantly interrupting you, let them know that you need uninterrupted time to focus on your work.

  1. Use humor: Humor can be a great way to diffuse tension and lighten the mood. Use appropriate humor to ease the situation and help the difficult person to relax.

Example: If a customer is upset, try making a lighthearted joke to ease the tension.

  1. Take a break: If the situation becomes too intense, take a break. Excuse yourself from the interaction and take a few minutes to calm down and regroup.

Example: If a conversation with a difficult person becomes too heated, excuse yourself and take a short walk to clear your head.

  1. Seek support: If you're struggling to deal with a difficult person, seek support from a trusted colleague or friend. Talk through the situation with them and get their perspective on how to handle it.

Example: If you're having a difficult time with a coworker, talk to a trusted colleague about the situation and get their advice on how to handle it.

Test Questions 

  1. True or False - People don’t have as high of standards as me. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult 
  2. True or False - When I try to have conversations about the things that bother me, I am shut down. 
    1. True - Not difficult
    2. False - Difficult 
  3. True or False - I am typically the smartest person in the room. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult 
  4. True or False - Conflict resolution is about winning, and I always aim to win. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  5. True or False - Everyone is responsible for their own emotions and the situations they are handed in life.
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  6. True or False - I value looking at things for what else they could be, not just what they are already determined to be. 
    1. True - Not difficult
    2. False - Difficult 
  7. True or False - I try to spend time reflecting on who I am, how I interact with others, and how I could improve and grow. 
    1. True - Not difficult
    2. False - Difficult
  8. True or False - Sleep is for the weak. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  9. True or False - Everything is a competition, whether you say it is or not. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  10. True or False - In every situation, I try to look for a compromise.
    1. True - Not difficult
    2. False - Difficult 
  11. True or False - People generally give terrible advice.
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  12.  True or False - I always feel as though I’m part of the group: at work, in my family, in my neighborhood, etc. 
    1. True - Not difficult
    2. False - Difficult 
  13. True or False - I make excellent judgments of other people. When I meet them, I immediately know what type of person they are going to be. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  14. True or False - People have the ability to grow and change.
    1. True - Not difficult
    2. False - Difficult 
  15. True or False-  Everyone should put themselves first, always. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  16. True or False - If I don’t have a direct hand in a project, it won’t be done correctly. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  17. True or False - Devil’s advocate is a fun position to play. A spirited debate is a great way to spend the evening. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  18. True or False - More often than not, life is disappointing. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  19. True or False - Communication should always be about finding solutions with others. 
    1. True - Not difficult
    2. False - Difficult 
  20. True or False - There is always something positive that can be said. 
    1. True - Not difficult
    2. False - Difficult 
  21. True or False - People often describe me as optimistic. 
    1. True - Not difficult
    2. False - Difficult 
  22. True or False - The world would be much better if I were in charge of it. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  23. True or False - When I do a favor for someone, I expect them to do a favor for me in return later. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  24. True or False - I am constantly victimized at work, just because I’m me. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult
  25. True or False - My ideas tend to be the best that are presented in strategy meetings. 
    1. True - Difficult
    2. False - Not difficult

Results

You’re A-Okay!

1-8 “Difficult” Answers

Don’t worry, you’re not difficult. Everyone has their off days and it’s common for people to get frustrated. But in general, you don’t seem to be the “difficult person” at your workplace or in your community. If you have questions about your relationship with people in your life, ask them! Honest and clear communication is key to building strong bonds. 

Take Time to Be Mindful 

9-16 “Difficult” Answers 

You may not be the most difficult person on your team, but you may have some tendencies that irritate other people. Take time to be mindful, and remember to view your actions with a growth mindset. How can you be more present in your interactions and consider the viewpoints, perspectives, and opinions of others? 

You’re Pretty Difficult

17-25 “Difficult” Answers 

Hate to say it, but it seems like you’re pretty difficult. Take some time to journal and reflect on how your actions may be affecting other people. Know that other people have valid feelings, experiences, and skills that they can bring to the table. Consider reaching out to a coach or counselor to talk through your results and how you might be able to become a better community member or team player.

Reference this article:

Practical Psychology. (2022, May). Am I A Difficult Person Quiz (Free 3 Min Test + No Email). Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/am-i-a-difficult-person-quiz/.

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