Going through a break-up is one of the worst life experiences. Not only does it affect you mentally, but it affects you physically, making you feel lethargic, lose your appetite and struggle sleeping. You tend to overthink everything; where did it all go wrong? Why can’t you both work it out? And how is this even happening? The automatic negative thoughts just seem to keep coming, and sometimes it’s difficult to shut them out, which has a detrimental effect on your mental health.
Is It Normal To Have Doubts After a Breakup?
Yes, it is. Not all choices are easy to make, and even after you have weighed your decision and acted on it, you may still have doubts. When you have these thoughts, step back. Meditate. Are your doubts fueled by emotion, or the factors that helped you make this decision?
You may find yourself continuing to have these doubts and think these thoughts. Take them one thought at a time and remind yourself of your path forward.
Common Negative Thoughts After a Breakup
1. “I’ve made a mistake.”
It’s completely normal to question the reasons behind your break-up. Whether you’re the one who initiated it all, or simply agreed to it without a choice, both parties will second-guess themselves at least once. After all, how are you supposed to know that this is the best thing for you both in the long run, when you’re still very much in love with them? Even if your feelings have faded in the last however many months, you still care deeply for the other person and are very much in the relationship bubble. It’s so easy to believe that you’ve made a huge mistake; however, give it some time. Time will help you gain true perspective on the situation. If you’re adamant you want to be with the other person after a couple of months, then it might be worth having a conversation with them to see if you can both work it out.
2. “I don’t want to do anything today.”
This negative thought might be due to lack of sleep or motivation from your mental health being so severely jeopardised. Everybody’s allowed a couple of down days initially as you need time to grieve properly for the relationship, especially if it was a relationship that lasted for years. However, if it’s getting to the point where you haven’t left the house in a month, then it’s time to give yourself a little shake. Even if you don’t particularly feel like it, force yourself to get up, dressed and showered one day. Then force yourself to take a short walk by your house the next. Then head to your local corner shop the day after that. Make little steps forward and you’ll be surprised at how much you can achieve in a short amount of time.
If this pattern of behavior continues, assess your mental health. Depression may be treated by talking to a professional or making other lifestyle changes.
3. “This pain is never-ending.”
It’s no secret that break-ups hurt. A lot. For a long time. However, it does get better. It may be a cliché, but time truly is a healer, as well as distractions. By leaning on your support system and spending time with the people who matter the most to you, then this will take your mind off things. Don’t let yourself stop going out and doing activities, even if it’s only exercise. Exercise releases endorphins in your brain that instantly improve your mood. Allow yourself to feel and process the pain, but also distract your mind whenever you can.
4. “I can’t live without them.”
One of the hardest parts of breaking up is the fact that you have to essentially cut the other person out of your life. They go from being your best friend to becoming a stranger. It’s an incredibly challenging transition, but you have to think – it’s only temporary. You will soon adjust to this new way of life – a life without them – but you can always reach out to them later when you’re truly over them if you’re adamant about still being friends.
5. “I will never love again.”
Everybody thinks that they will never get into another relationship again when they’re going through a break-up. Why would you want to, when it could result in you having to go through this heart-break again? Surprisingly, though, the heart heals time and time again. The time will come where you happen to meet someone who you think is amazing and you will be ready to open your heart to another person again. You will have learned so much about relationships and how to make them last. It might seem a long way off at the moment, but you will get there. Have faith.
Things to Do To Keep Your Mind off Your Breakup
No matter how badly you’re hurting, it’s important not to lose sight of the bigger picture. This heart-break is only a short-term circumstance. You will get through this. One day you will wake up and it won’t hurt anymore. If you managed to live how many years without your ex before you met them, then you can manage just fine without them post-break-up. Whatever you do, try not to be afraid to love again – because there’s nothing else in this world like it.