What To Say To A Friend Going Through A Breakup? (30 Examples)

practical psychology logo
Published by:
Practical Psychology
on
Avatar photo

Breakups can be incredibly challenging and emotionally draining, leaving those going through them feeling lost and vulnerable. As a friend, you are essential in providing support, understanding, and encouragement during this difficult time. It can be tough to know what to say or how to be there for someone experiencing a breakup, but having a collection of heartfelt and empathetic phrases can make a significant difference in their healing process.

Navigating the complexities of a breakup requires patience, empathy, and a listening ear. It's important to remember that everyone's experience is unique, and there is no one-size-fits-all solution for offering comfort. This list of 30 things to say to a friend going through a breakup is designed to help you be a source of support, providing them with reassurance, hope, and the knowledge that they are not alone in their journey.

helping a friend through a breakup

Understanding the emotional turmoil a breakup can cause and learning how to offer compassionate support can positively impact your friend's healing process. The following list aims to equip you with various thoughtful and encouraging phrases that can be adapted to suit your friend's needs and circumstances.

As you offer a listening ear and kind words, remember that your presence and empathy can be a powerful source of comfort during this challenging time.

Helpful Things To Say

  1. "I'm here for you, and I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything you're feeling. Your emotions are valid, and I'll listen without judgment."
  2. "It's okay to feel sad, angry, or confused during this time. Remember that healing takes time, and it's important to give yourself permission to grieve the end of the relationship."
  3. "I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you, but please know that you're not alone. I'm here to support you in any way that I can, whether you need a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to."
  4. "It's normal to feel a mix of emotions during a breakup, and it doesn't make you weak or inadequate. You're strong and resilient, and I believe in your ability to overcome this challenge."
  5. "Remember that it's okay to ask for help and lean on others during this time. You don't have to go through this alone, and the people caring about you will support you."
  6. "Sometimes relationships don't work out, and it's not a reflection of your worth or ability to love. You deserve someone who can love and appreciate you for who you are."
  7. "Take this time to focus on yourself and explore new interests or hobbies. This can be a period of growth and self-discovery, and you might find strength and happiness in unexpected places."
  8. "When you're ready, consider making a list of the qualities you want in a future partner. This can help you clarify what you value in a relationship and serve as a reminder of what you deserve."
  9. "It might feel impossible now, but the pain will fade over time, and you'll begin to feel like yourself again. You have a bright future ahead of you, and there's so much more to experience and enjoy."
  10. "I know it's tough, but try not to blame yourself for the breakup. Relationships are complex, and sometimes they end due to circumstances beyond our control."
  11. "The end of a relationship can feel like a loss, and it's okay to grieve. Give yourself the time and space to process your emotions and heal."
  12. "Don't hesitate to reach out to me if you need a distraction or just want to talk. I'm here for you, and I'm more than happy to help in any way I can."
  13. "It's important to prioritize self-care during this time. Do things that make you feel good, whether taking a long bath, watching your favorite movie, or going for a walk in nature."
  14. "Remember that you have a strong support system of friends and family who love you. Lean on them when needed, and don't be afraid to ask for help."
  15. "You're allowed to feel angry or upset, and it's important to express those emotions in a healthy way. Consider journaling, talking to a friend, or seeking professional help if needed."
  16. "Time has a way of healing emotional wounds, and although it might be difficult to believe now, you will feel better eventually. Trust in the healing process and be patient with yourself."
  17. "You are strong, capable, and deserving of love. This breakup doesn't define your worth, and it's an opportunity to grow and learn about yourself."
  18. "Allow yourself the time to heal properly and reflect on what you truly want in a partner."
  19. "When you're feeling low, remember the qualities that make you unique and special. You have so much to offer; someone out there will appreciate and cherish you for who you are."
  20. "It's okay to have moments of weakness, but don't forget to remind yourself of the progress you've made. Celebrate the small victories and acknowledge your strength during this difficult time."
  21. "While it's important to process your emotions, try not to dwell on the past or the 'what-ifs.' Focus on moving forward and embracing the opportunities that lie ahead."
  22. "Surround yourself with positive influences and people who lift you up. This is a time to focus on your well-being and create an environment that fosters healing and growth."
  23. "Find solace in activities that bring you joy and help you feel connected to others. This can be anything from joining a club or group, volunteering, or spending time with loved ones."
  24. "Remember that healing is not linear, and having good and bad days is normal. Be patient with yourself, and know that with time and support, you will come out of this experience stronger and more resilient."
  25. "Remember that it's okay to set boundaries with your ex and mutual friends during this time. Establishing healthy boundaries can help protect your emotional well-being and support your healing process."
  26. "While seeking closure or understanding is tempting, sometimes it's best to accept that not all questions will be answered. Focus on what you can control and let go of the need for a perfect resolution."
  27. "Consider trying new activities or taking on new challenges that help you build confidence and rediscover your sense of self. Embrace this time as a period of growth and personal development."
  28. "Remember that it's normal to feel a range of emotions during the healing process, and you don't have to put on a brave face all the time. Be honest with yourself and others about how you're feeling, and allow yourself to be vulnerable when needed."
  29. "Refrain from comparing yourself to your ex or their new relationships. Focus on your own journey and remember that everyone heals and moves forward at their own pace."
  30. "Be gentle with yourself and practice self-compassion during this time. Recognize that you're doing your best in a challenging situation, and treat yourself with kindness and understanding."
  31. "Part of the magic of a breakup is that you get to discover how you want to fill the time you used to spend with your partner.  This is a gift - as you can go on a journey to learn more about what activities bring you the most joy."

Encourage Self Care

Supporting a friend during a breakup also means encouraging them to take care of themselves. Self-care is about doing things that make you feel good and help you relax. Remind your friend that it's okay to take time for themselves and focus on their well-being. For example, you might say, "Remember to do something nice for yourself, like watching your favorite movie or walking outside. It's important to take care of yourself during this time."

Sometimes, people forget to do things they enjoy when sad or upset. As a friend, you can gently remind them of their favorite activities and even offer to join them. This can make them feel less alone and help them feel better. You could say, "Hey, I know you love painting. Why don't we get art supplies and spend an afternoon creating together? It might help take your mind off things."

Lastly, make sure your friend knows that self-care is not selfish. It's a way to help them heal and feel better. Encourage them to do things that make them happy and support their healing process. You can say, "Taking care of yourself is important right now. You deserve to feel good and find happiness. I'm here to help however I can."

Acknowledge Their Pain

Acknowledging your friend's pain is crucial in providing the support they need during a breakup. It's essential to validate their emotions and let them know that their feelings are entirely normal and understandable. Doing so creates a safe space for them to express themselves openly and honestly without fear of judgment or dismissal. Be genuine in your empathy, offering comforting words like, "I know how much this hurts, and it's okay to feel this way. You have every right to be upset."

Sometimes, people going through breakups may feel isolated, as if no one understands the depth of their pain. As a friend, it's important to acknowledge their unique experience and offer reassurance that they are not alone. Share your experiences or let them know you are there for them, no matter what. For example, you might say, "I can't imagine exactly what you're going through, but I'm here to listen and support you in any way I can."

When acknowledging your friend's pain, avoiding minimizing their emotions or offering unsolicited advice is crucial. Instead, focus on empathetic statements that validate their feelings and promote open communication. For instance, you could say, "I understand that this must be incredibly difficult for you, and I want you to know that I'm here to listen, not judge. Please don't hesitate to reach out when you need someone to talk to."

Avoid Clichés

When comforting a friend going through a breakup, it's important to avoid relying on clichés that may appear insincere or dismissive. While phrases like "there are plenty of fish in the sea" or "time heals all wounds" may be well-intentioned, they can inadvertently minimize your friend's pain and make them feel misunderstood. Instead, focus on offering genuine empathy and support, choosing words that resonate with their unique experience and emotional state.

Clichés can often lead to a disconnect between you and your friend, as they may not believe that you genuinely understand their situation. To foster a more meaningful connection, share relatable experiences or offer words of encouragement tailored to their specific needs. For example, you might say, "I know it's not easy to see it now, but you have so much strength and resilience. You'll get through this, and I'll be by your side every step of the way."

It's crucial to remember that everyone's healing process is different, and what may have worked for one person may not be helpful or applicable to your friend's situation. By avoiding clichés and offering personalized support, you demonstrate genuine care and understanding of their feelings. This thoughtful approach can contribute significantly to their healing journey and reinforce the bond of friendship during this challenging time.

Suggest Healthy Coping Strategies

Helping a friend through a breakup also means suggesting ways to cope that are good for them. Coping strategies are actions or activities that can help people feel better during tough times. You can recommend ideas that you think might help your friend. For example, you could say, "Writing in a journal can help you understand your feelings better. Maybe you could try it and see if it helps you feel less stressed."

Exercise is another great way for people to feel better when they are sad or upset. You could encourage your friend to try a new activity, like going for a run or joining a dance class. Tell them, "Exercise can help you feel better because it releases chemicals in your brain that make you happy. Let's find a fun activity we can do together."

It's important to remind your friend to avoid unhealthy coping strategies, like overeating junk food or spending too much time alone. Instead, encourage them to reach out to others for support and try new activities to help them grow. You might say, "Talking to friends and family can help you feel less alone. And trying new hobbies can help you learn more about yourself and what you enjoy."

By suggesting healthy coping methods, you show your friend that you care about their well-being and want to help them feel better during this difficult time.

Remind Them Of Their Strengths

When a friend goes through a breakup, reminding them of their strengths is important. Sometimes, people forget how amazing they are when they are sad or upset. You can help your friend feel better by pointing out the great things about them. For example, you might say, "You're such a kind and caring person. I know it's hard right now, but those qualities will help you get through this tough time."

It's also a good idea to share examples of when your friend showed their strengths in the past. This can help them remember that they have faced challenges and become stronger. You could say, "Remember when you joined that new club at school even though you were nervous? You made a lot of new friends and had a great time. That shows how brave and strong you are."

Encouraging your friend to focus on their strengths can help boost their confidence and self-esteem during this difficult time. Feeling better about themselves will make them more likely to heal and move forward. Tell them, "You have so much to be proud of, and I know you'll come out of this experience even stronger than before. I believe in you, and I'm here to support you every step of the way."

By reminding your friend of their strengths, you help them see their worth and encourage them to believe in themselves as they face this challenging situation.

Offer Hope

When your friend is going through a breakup, offering hope can help them feel better about the future. Breakups can make people feel like they'll never be happy again, but it's important to remind them that things will improve over time. You could say, "I know it's hard to believe right now, but you will feel better as time passes. You're strong, and you'll get through this tough time."

You can also share stories of other people who have gone through breakups and come out stronger on the other side. This can help your friend see that there is hope for a better future. Tell them, "My cousin went through a tough breakup last year, but now she's happier than ever. She learned a lot from the experience and even made new friends."

Encouraging your friend to think about the good things that can come from a breakup can also offer hope. For example, they might have more time for hobbies, friends, or trying new things. You might say, "Now that you have more free time, you can focus on doing things that make you happy. Maybe you can join that art class you've wanted to try."

By offering hope, you help your friend believe they can heal and find happiness again after their breakup. This can give them the strength to face challenges and move forward.

Share Personal Stories

Sharing personal stories can be an effective way to connect with a friend going through a breakup. By opening up about your own experiences, you can demonstrate empathy and create a sense of understanding between you and your friend. Let them know that you've faced similar challenges and that you can relate to their feelings. For example, you might say, "I remember when I went through a tough breakup a couple of years ago. I felt so lost, but I started to heal with time and learned a lot about myself."

When sharing your story, focus on the lessons you learned and the growth you experienced due to the breakup. This can offer your friend hope and encouragement that they can emerge stronger from this difficult situation. You could say, "At first, I didn't know how I would move on, but eventually, I realized that the breakup helped me grow. It taught me what I value in a relationship and helped me become more independent."

Make sure to balance sharing your story and listening to your friend's feelings. While your personal experience can provide comfort and insight, allowing your friend to express their emotions and thoughts is essential. By sharing your story and lending a supportive ear, you can help your friend feel less alone in their journey towards healing and growth.

Focus on the Future

Focusing on the future can be a helpful way to support a friend going through a breakup. Remind them that life continues and new opportunities await. For example, say, "This is a tough time, but you have so much to look forward to in the future."

Help your friend see the potential for growth and positive change after their breakup. Encourage them to set new goals and explore their interests. You might mention, "Now's the time to discover new passions or focus on personal development."

By guiding your friend to look ahead, you can inspire them to see beyond their current pain. This focus on the future can provide hope and motivation as they navigate the healing process.

Support Them

Supporting a friend during a breakup means being there for them in various ways. Offer a listening ear and let them know you're available whenever they need to talk. For example, say, "I'm here for you if you want to share your feelings or just need someone to listen."

Help your friend with practical tasks, like running errands or making meals, as they might be struggling with everyday responsibilities. Offer assistance by saying, "If you need help with anything, please don't hesitate to ask. I'm more than willing to lend a hand."

You demonstrate your commitment to helping your friend during this challenging time by offering emotional and practical support. Your kindness and understanding can make a significant difference in their healing process.

Things To Do For Them

Offer a listening ear

One of the most important things you can do for a friend going through a breakup is to be there when they need to talk. Listening without judgment can provide immense comfort, as it helps them feel understood and supported. For example, invite your friend to share their feelings over coffee or during a walk in the park, and let them know you're there to listen without offering unsolicited advice.

Encourage self-care

Help your friend prioritize their well-being by suggesting self-care activities that can boost their mood and reduce stress. For instance, you might recommend they take up yoga or meditation to promote relaxation and mental clarity. Another idea could be to plan a spa day together, where both of you can unwind and enjoy some much-needed pampering.

Be a source of distraction

Sometimes, a person going through a breakup needs a distraction from their thoughts and emotions. Plan activities or outings that can take their mind off the situation, even if it's just for a short while. For example, organize a movie night, attend a local event, or explore a new hiking trail together. Engaging in fun experiences can provide a temporary escape and help your friend find moments of happiness during their healing process.

Help with daily tasks

Breakups can be overwhelming, and your friend might struggle with everyday responsibilities. Offer assistance with tasks like running errands, cooking meals, or taking care of their pets. For example, you could prepare a home-cooked meal and deliver it to their door, giving them one less thing to worry about. By providing practical support, you show your friend that you care about their well-being and are there to help them during this difficult time.

Encourage healthy coping strategies

Guide your friend towards healthy coping strategies that promote healing and personal growth. For instance, suggest they join a support group or see a therapist to help process their emotions. You might also encourage them to engage in activities that foster self-discovery, like journaling or taking up a new hobby. By recommending constructive ways to cope with their emotions, you demonstrate your investment in their long-term happiness and well-being.

Warning Signs Of Someone Going Through A Breakup

It's important to recognize the warning signs of someone going through a breakup, as they may need support from friends and family during this challenging time. One common sign is a noticeable change in their mood or behavior. They may seem more withdrawn, sad, or irritable than usual, and this shift in temperament can indicate that they're struggling with the emotional turmoil of a breakup.

Another warning sign is a sudden disinterest in activities or hobbies they once enjoyed. When going through a breakup, they might lose enthusiasm for things that used to bring them happiness, as their thoughts may be preoccupied with the end of their relationship. If you notice that a friend or loved one no longer shows interest in their favorite pastimes, this could be a sign that they're going through a difficult breakup.

Communication patterns can also change during a breakup. Someone experiencing this emotional upheaval might reach out more frequently, seeking comfort and support from their social circle. On the other hand, they could become less communicative as they try to process their feelings privately. Pay attention to any significant changes in the way your friend or loved one communicates with you, as this might signal their need for support.

Lastly, changes in physical appearance or self-care habits can be another warning sign. Breakups can lead to emotional distress, which might manifest in a lack of motivation to maintain one's appearance or engage in healthy routines. If you notice that your friend or loved one is neglecting their self-care, it could indicate that they're grappling with the aftermath of a breakup. In such cases, offering understanding, empathy, and encouragement can make a significant difference in their healing process.

Reference this article:

Practical Psychology. (2023, March). What To Say To A Friend Going Through A Breakup? (30 Examples). Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/what-to-say-to-a-friend-going-through-a-breakup/.

About The Author

Photo of author