How to set up a date on Tinder

Since Tinder was born in 2012, over 50 million people have joined the dating app.

Swiping on potential matches in the area became the easiest way to set up dates and possibly make a love connection. Whether you are looking for Mrs. Right or Mrs. Right Now, Tinder can be fun or intimidating.

You’ve matched a dozen of girls...now what? There are a few steps between matching with someone on Tinder and setting up a first date. By making your matches comfortable, and showing them some personality, you’ll be seated across from them at the bar in no time.

Read below for the best tips on how to set up a date on Tinder:


1) Read your match’s profile

Everyone is on Tinder for different reasons. Some matches will be looking for a fun date, and others will be looking for something more. This information, along with general information about your match, may be found in their profile.

Before you craft your pickup line, read through your match’s profile and learn about them. Where did they go to school? Do they prefer beer over wine? Have they traveled anywhere interesting? In most cases, girls with great personalities will give you enough information in their bio to help you come up with a decent pickup line. 

Even the smallest fact about your match can help you craft a creative and thoughtful pickup line. Reading through your match’s profile will also help you avoid touchy subjects (matches might mention if they don’t drink alcohol or are just traveling through for the weekend.)

 

2) Strike up a conversation with a question or response to their profile

The average person is on Tinder for up to 90 minutes a day. I think that's down quite a bit since other competitive dating apps have came out. However, That's still a lot of time to match and start a conversation with someone. A quick “hello” or “how are you?” is often buried under more witty or interesting pick-up lines. (A greeting in GIF form, however, may catch someone’s eye and make them laugh!)

Let your first message reflect your personality. Cheesy one-liners are great for guys who pride themselves on being a bit corny and don’t take themselves too seriously. Observations about their profile and bio show that you took the time to get to know the person you are matching with. If your match has a question on their profile, giving an answer is a good idea, but know that all of their Tinder matches may be doing the same thing.

Your first Tinder message doesn’t have to make your match fall in love with you right off the bat, so don’t sweat it!

In fact, the first message is simply the door to opening a conversation.

 

3) Stay away from taboo topics

Tinder messages are the new first dates; and the rule about taboo topics apply online. Keep conversation lighthearted and focused on your match’s interests.

Religion, politics, and your ex should stay out of your messages.

No Tinder match wants to think they are a rebound or that they are going to get into a heated debate over drinks. In small cases, you might agree on certain topics. However, on most Tinder dates, if you find a small disagreement among politics or spiritual beliefs, it's hard to change the topic. 

This applies especially to sex. Tinder is often labeled as an app for people looking to have sex rather than a meaningful relationship. Even if you are simply looking for a casual fling, do not bring sex into the conversation. Unless your match strikes up a sexy conversation, leave bedroom talk for after the first date (that is, if it goes well.)

Women tend to expect, but not necessarily get excited over, sexual advances, sexts, and unsolicited images through Tinder. Aggressively flirting or sending a “dick pic” will more often not end the conversation or get you blocked from Tinder. 

 

4) Set up the date after a handful of messages

Once you have established a rapport with your Tinder match, it’s time to suggest a date.

Note: rapport means having a few simple back-and-forth conversations that show you're vulnerable and a normal human being. 

Tinder’s icon is a flame, and without the spark of an in-person meeting, the flame will fizzle out. Be proactive during your conversation and establish a date. A recent GQ article suggests sending a dozen thoughtful messages before asking someone on a date, and not delaying past those messages. In fact, the #1 mistake most guys make when trying to score a tinder date, is they keep the conversations going on and on before finally asking for a meet up. 

If you want to set up a date that your match will enjoy, base your date idea on your conversation. Let the conversation flow; an abrupt move may signal to your date that you are not interested in the conversation.

If you are thinking too hard about how to set up a date on your Tinder conversation, you might want to wait for a few messages to go by before you make a move. The possibilities are endless, but the following date ideas are more likely to result in a positive response.

 

5) How to set up a date on Tinder

If your match is new in town: Someone who is traveling or new to the area probably won’t know about the best bars or restaurants in the area. Offer to show your match your favorite bar that has great drink specials or a unique theme.

If you have a similar taste in music: Going to a gig this week? Invite your Tinder match! Seeing a band play at a bar will give you both something to talk about. A gig or similar event at the bar keeps the drinks flowing and the conversation going without the awkwardness of staring at each other from across the table.

If your match wants to meet your dog: If you have a dog in your profile pictures, you probably get asked about them a lot. Set up a date that involves man’s best friend. Offer to go on a picnic at the local dog park, or grab a coffee at a dog-friendly cafe.

And one more thing: if you want to go on a proper date, don’t ask your match over to your home, even if it’s for a home-cooked meal. You can ask your match to “Netflix and chill” once you have met up before and they feel comfortable around you.

 

6) After you have set up a date on Tinder

Having a great conversation? Great! You do not have to stop chatting after the date has been established. Your match will appreciate if you are genuinely interested and engaged in your conversation. Continuing to chat shows your match that you are on Tinder for more than just a night of fun.

Once you have set up a date on Tinder, offer your Facebook name or profile. Moving your conversation off of the app will help set you apart from other matches. You can move up the Ladder of Intimacy: 

Intimacy ladder

 

7) Talk to friends about how to set up a date on Tinder

Having trouble? Worried that you don’t know how to set up a date on Tinder with a match that you really like? Setting up a date immediately on Tinder may work for some guys; others may need to have a longer conversation and charm their matches before meeting them in person. If you want to see a second or third date, you should be yourself and do what works best for you.

One of the best ways to improve your tinder profile to get more swipes is simply to hand it over to a friend. When you give the ability of someone else to edit your bio and change your pictures, you must trust them; but they see the best parts of you and can show them off the best. 

Whether you are in the middle of a tricky conversation, or want some overall help on how to set up a date on Tinder, talk to friends about how you approach your matches. If you are trying to ask out women, talk to female friends. A like-minded peer will be able to read your individual messages and give you advice on how to set up a date on Tinder with a specific match.

Learning how to ask for a date on Tinder all comes down to your confidence. 

Now that you’ve learned how to set up a date on Tinder, what is taking you so long? Start swiping!

Theodore
 

Theodore created PracticalPsychology while in college and has transformed the educational online space of psychology. His goal is to help people improve their lives by understanding how their brains work. 1,700,000 Youtube subscribers and a growing team of psychologists, the dream continues strong!

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