Looking for a list of great wife qualities? Maybe you're a girl who wants to embody these traits for your boyfriend, or maybe you're a boyfriend ready to move onto something serious.
You might've found this page by wanting to understand what to look for before marrying your sweetheart, or maybe you want to learn how to be wife material. Either way, it's good luck you found this resource...
What is Wifey Material?
Wifey Material is a phrase used to describe the qualities of a woman that would be an absolutely great wife. The specific traits vary among men, but there are a few universals that all men seem to agree upon.
Trust, honesty, love, smoking body, great with kids and my friends, likes to travel, and more like this are on my list with qualities that make her wifey material. What’s on yours?
There comes a time when most men want to settle down and build a home with a good woman. But it seems more and more difficult to find a woman that hits all the points on our lists. The truth is we’re not looking hard enough. After all, most good women don’t usually hang out at the bar every night, and they don’t get noticed easily.
It also matters the level of your expectations. If on your list of qualities that make her wifey material you have “looking like a goddess”, “cooks like my mother”, and “reads extensively to expand her mind” you may never find such a woman. And if do you find her, she may not find you interesting enough.
However, there are some important qualities that make her wifey material. Below I listed the most common ones and I leave it to you, to look for the ones that make her unique to you.
#1: She Knows how to Handle Life
When you’re dating and having fun, you may appreciate a damsel in distress who needs you to rescue her. Still, this feature is not something you should look for in a wife.
When you’re looking to start a family with someone, you don’t want to be the one to bear all the responsibility. After all, marriage is a partnership and requires two people to make it work through thick and thin.
Look for a woman who can handle bad news and disappointment because there’s plenty of this in life. If she doesn’t know what she wants and she’s pouting when things don’t go her way, she’s not wifey material just yet. Finances are a good indicator of a woman's maturity level, but we will talk about that later.
#2: Physical Aspect Does Matter
Yes, beauty fades away, but you should be physically attracted to the woman next to you!
In the first stages of the relationship, physical beauty is the main element of attraction. However, you must make sure to not fixate on that. Physical beauty means good hygiene, physical fitness, and an inclination towards looking the best she can be. It does not mean looking for a supermodel!
The secret is to look for those features that make her attractive to you. For instance, if you like girls with long, flowy hair and a crooked cute smile, focus on this.
I always liked the saying: "You can't choose who you like, but you can choose who you love".
This means, you can't change what you're biologically attracted to. I mean, your brain might be wired in a way that brunettes just "push your hot button", but blondes turn you off. However, you can control how you behave, and the way you show them love. When it comes to wifey material traits, physical beauty (as measured by you) matters a lot.
In fact, most people say beauty is the door to personality. You never get to see a woman's true personality until after you've made the approach to meet her, which is usually a door locked by beauty. (Most men don't approach women they don't find attractive.)
#3: Inner Beauty: Personality
All human beings have two types of beauty: that of the body, and that of the soul (also known as inner beauty).
One of the must-have qualities that make her wifey material is represented by inner beauty. Look for a woman who listens when you speak (doesn’t just nod along while thinking of latest trends in fashion) and is understanding.
Time and time again, personality psychology research shows how important matching similar traits and interests are, especially in long term relationships!
She should be kind, decent, and generally have a good personality. Even if you don’t know her for that long, if you pay attention to the way she treats other people, you’ll know. For instance, was she nice with the waiter that served you on your first dinner date? She uses “please” and “thank you” when speaking to regular people?
A good way to find someone's true personality is to do something physically intensive in the morning. To quickly understand what I mean, take your girlfriend for a early morning bike ride, before the sun even rises. It's fun, and you'll see her without any "masks".
Inner beauty is one of the most important traits in a woman you plan to marry because it doesn't change munch when you’re old and bored with each other!
#4: She Sees You for You
Some women want a guy with money, some are looking for a six-pack, and some just want to be ravished in bed.
None of these women has the qualities that make her wifey material! They are lacking one important quality: they don’t want a real man; they just want parts of a man that will satisfy their needs.
The woman you’re going to marry must see you for your actual behaviors and accept you as a whole, with both good qualities and flaws. Things like “I never liked how you sit at the table!” or “You promised me you’ll get better-looking” shouldn’t show up in any of your conversations.
In short, how often does she agree with your opinions and thoughts? If you two find yourself disagreeing more often than not, you may want to reconsider her application for being your wife.
Change is good, but it should happen naturally and because you welcome it. Not because your wife is constantly nagging you about it.
#5: She makes you a Better Man
The perfect relationship is when both partners have room to grow and develop their dreams.
Just like the last trait, she shouldn't try to change you, but she should change with you. People always grow, but it's a matter of growing together or growing apart.
Just because you got married, it doesn’t mean your social and professional lives should end! A good woman will support your goals and work with you to achieve them. Of course, you will have to return the favor, but it shouldn’t be that hard when she is happy to support you.
This also means it's your job to have goals and to continue to work on yourself as well. A lot of guys give up their dreams and settle when they get married, which causes quite a bit of trouble.
A woman who gives up her comfort to give you room to pursue your career goals is definitely exhibiting strong wifey qualities! (If you want to be a great husband, you too should give up some comfort room to help her pursue her goals.)
#6: She Gets Along with the Ones You Love
Our family is important, and it’s an important part of our lives (whether we’re married or not).
So, you don’t want a woman who will constantly whine about your sister, upset your mother, or fight with your father.
Yes, mothers can be overprotective, but a wise, mature woman knows this. Of course, I’m not saying she should be a doormat for your family, but she should find middle ground by being patient and kind.
Observe and watch how she gets along with your family, her coworkers, and especially her own family. If she treats them with disrespect, expect the same when you're married.
One of the best quotes is "You can tell a lot about a person by how they treat animals". The same goes for other human beings, including your girlfriend or fiance.
Out of respect for you, she should open her heart and life to your entire family. In return, you should be open to her meeting your family as well.
#7: Common Values
Opposites attract, but do they stick together for long?
I know it can be exciting to be with a woman who challenges you at all times, because she is different than you. But, as life moves on, you will get tired of her constantly challenging your authority and trying to overturn your ruling.
While it’s difficult to find a perfect match, you should at least share the same core values. For instance, if you want lots of kids and a nice, cozy home, she should be on board with this goal. You won't have a happy life if she wants to live in a penthouse in New York, sipping cosmos all day!
This doesn't mean you need the same hobbies or dreams, just the same values that are important to both of you. I encourage conversations that cover these important areas early.
#8: The Financial Situation
This is a touchy subject, but it’s very important when you’re thinking about sharing your life with a woman!
Most great romance stories have women believe that when the right man comes along, all their financial troubles will be over. We have lots of stories where "a knight in shining armor" is rich and handsome and falls in love with the maid or the poor girl who has a million dollar smile, but this doesn’t usually fly in the real world.
One of the qualities that make her wifey material is a stable financial situation and a career that’s going somewhere. When kids come along or you want to buy a house, the financial burden shouldn’t fall just on your shoulders.
Not to mention that a woman with a good career has dreams and goals of her own. So she knows how important yours are too. If she's bad with money and financial responsibilities, ask her if she would be okay with you handling most of it. On the other hand, I don't recommend seeking a serious relationship if your own finances are a wreck.
If she has staggering financial debt that’s not backed up by a serious reason, you may be choosing a person who likes more to spend than to make money. This is a huge red flag of immaturity, so be extremely careful about this!
#9: She Calls You on Your BS
Married life is not just milk and honey and you must make sure the person standing next to you is strong enough to call you on your BS when it matters. She should be able to point out when you’re making a life-altering mistake and you should be able to trust her advice.
For instance, if one day, you decide to sell the house and invest the money in an online ice-selling business, your wife should be the one to point out the flaws in your plan. She should be able to explain (calmly) why she doesn’t agree and where things could go wrong.
Of course, you should be able to call her on her BS without having to serve years in Hell for your gesture.
#10: She’s Funny to Be With
We go through enough gloomy moments in life without making some for ourselves.
So, my last item on the list of qualities that make her wifey material is a fun disposition. You should be able to go to social events, enjoy evenings with your friends, and generally have a great time together.
But it’s not just about when you are going out; you should feel great in each other’s company and she should inspire good feelings in you with a nice, warm smile.
How great would it be if she’s smile at you while saying “Have a fantastic day, my darling! I can’t wait for us to see each other in the evening and do something fun together!”
Bonus: According to Reddit
Here are some comments that I've found on Reddit:
Fun to be around. Someone you want to be with, rather than someone you want to have sex with. Basically, when you know, you know. There's no single criteria for all men. - Magnehtic
My wife, when she was my girlfriend, told me something I will never forget. She said, "Trying not to love you is like trying not to be hungry." It was one of the nicest things anyone's ever told me and it just made me feel how committed and loyal she was to me. She also used to take my socks off with her toes - SomeOne_Unique
As a divorced person my answer is; someone who is honest and open and considers your wants and needs as vital as their own. - OhAreThey
Your friends actually freaking LIKE her, saying stuff like, "You better not f*** this up." She is not always trying to isolate you away from your friends and family. You know... the very people she'd have to hang out with if she married you. - canadian_air
Sense of humor: you don't have to be a knockout comedian or anything, just be able to appreciate a joke or funny situation. Intelligent: you don't have to even be smart, per se, just able to hold an intelligent conversation that goes somewhere. Kind: this applies to all humans, be good and decent people. That's pretty much it. Other things are bonuses but without these three things, it's all for naught. - Volleyball45
Of course, there are more qualities that her wifey material, but I love these because they are the foundation of a good life together. A good woman is one that comes with good personality, a desire to make the best out of her man, and a loving heart for him and his family!
Leave a comment below if you think I missed some #wifeymaterial traits!
If you're looking to become husband material, and want to learn how to get a girl to like you, I have a whole detailed guide you may enjoy: 22 Psychological Tricks to get a girl to like you.