In a perfect world, dating would be as easy as being on The Bachelor. You have 30 women all wanting to date you, and all you have to do is go on dates, choose the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, and marry. But dating isn’t that easy. If you’re here, it’s probably because a woman dumped you or hasn’t been texting you back…and you want to make this girl miss you.
Making someone miss you isn't as straightforward as solving a simple math problem, choosing the right outfit, or picking a movie to watch. Developing feelings of longing can’t even be done overnight, either! You’re determined to change a woman’s mind about you. What can you do in the meantime? How can you make yourself more appealing to this girl and other women so dating is a little more like The Bachelor?
The simple answer is: work on yourself. That’s probably not the answer you were looking for, but there are ways that you can work on yourself that will make more women go crazy for you!
You Can’t Make Anyone Feel Anything
Before you read, remind yourself that you can’t make another person feel anything. Many factors determine whether someone is attracted to, feels chemistry with, or wants to pursue a relationship with another person. Most of those factors are outside of your control. The advice below will focus on what you can control, including how you spend your time and express yourself online and in person.
1) Don’t Act Desperate
What’s one way to turn a girl off? Desperation. Women don’t want to feel like they’re dating a desperate man. Women want to feel like a prize to be won, not the only woman around who is willing to date a desperate man. So don’t beg, don’t plead, and don’t barrage her with texts asking her why she’s not texting you back or why she’s not interested anymore. A woman can’t miss a man when she’s feeling suffocated by him.
The only exception to this is if a woman breaks up with you because you don’t seem to be putting enough effort into your relationship. In this case, walking away entirely and cutting off all communication will not win her back. Desperation is still not the answer. Begging and pleading without taking any action will not convince a woman that she should date you again. But if she wants to see more effort from you, make that effort. You should check in more often and let her know you’re willing to do the work she requested.
2) Give Her Some Space
A woman can only miss you if you’re not around. So take a step back! Give her some space, whether physically or in the digital world. Step back from texting, commenting on her social media, or seeing her at her local hotspots. If you’re trying to make a girl in your friend group miss you, don’t avoid her altogether, but take a step back. Give her some room to wonder what you’re up to or doing.
3) Be Mysterious Online
Don’t forget to give her some space online, too! Be mysterious with your content. If you’re posting a lot, the girl you’re interested in will have enough opportunities to see how you’re doing. If she’s thinking about you, she will head to your pages, get her answers, and move on. Keep posting to a minimum, and more people - including the girl you’re interested in - will miss you!
If you do want to post on social media, stay positive. You may want to express loneliness, sadness, or frustration, but leave that for a physical journal. Women do not want a social media page flooded with negative emotions. People are not likely to reach out to help unless you contact them individually. Keep your content positive; people will feel more positive when they think about you!
4) Go on Dates With Someone Else!
Want to get your mind off of someone? Go on a date with someone else! A woman is more likely to be intrigued by a man actively dating. If you’re gaining the attention of other women, the girl you’re interested in may take a second look at you.
So go on dates with someone else! Enjoy some casual outings and take the time to get to know someone new. Maybe the next woman you date isn’t the one you’ll spend the rest of your life with. That’s okay. Every date is an opportunity to grab a nice drink or meal, have a conversation with someone new, or have a nice time. What can you learn from the next person you date with? How can this serve as practice for your dating life in general? Dating should be fun, but many results depend on your perspective and what you take away from each date. If you see dating as an opportunity to have an interesting conversation or at least walk away with a funny story, you’ll have more fun dating. If dating is just for meeting the woman of your dreams, you’re more likely to be disappointed when the woman across the table isn’t her.
5) Find Other Ways to Spend Your Time
The more time you sit thinking about this girl, the more opportunities you will give yourself to act out of desperation. Find other ways to spend your time. Before you know it, weeks will have passed, and this girl will wonder why you haven’t reached out. Plus, you will likely have a lot of other things to show for your time. Distracting yourself is truly a win-win!
Do Some Work On Yourself
Personal development will benefit you way beyond one relationship or fling. Through different avenues of personal development, you can explore the inner workings of your mind, build new skills, and approach future relationships with more maturity and foresight. Although therapy or counseling can contribute to your personal development, there are many other approaches to personal development that you can try:
- Reading inspirational books
- Taking a course on limiting beliefs
- Attending a support group or group therapy
- Working with a life coach
- Attending a religious service
- Talking to wise family and friends
As you try these different approaches, find ways to record what you are learning about yourself and the world. Remember, these lessons are not always comfortable. You may discover things about yourself that you want to improve upon. These lessons allow you to emerge from your personal development journey as a better, more successful version of yourself.
Develop a Hobby
Don’t want to look inward? Look outward. Plenty of hobbies and projects can distract you from your relationships. Give yourself a goal to accomplish by the end of the week or the end of the month. Put all your free time into that goal. You will be amazed at what you can produce or how much you will enjoy your time.
You can make anything a hobby, but here are some suggestions:
- Indoor or outdoor climbing
- Building models
- Sewing or knitting (why not, right?)
- Blogging or YouTubing
- Writing short stories
- Planning a vacation
- Learning a new language
6) Be A Good Listener
Being a good listener is critical to developing a strong connection with someone and making her miss you when you're not around. Active listening shows that you genuinely care about her thoughts and feelings and helps her feel valued and understood. When you're not together, she'll miss the emotional support and the sense of being truly heard you provide.
To be a good listener, give her your full attention during conversations, avoiding distractions like your phone or TV. Maintain eye contact, nod, and use verbal affirmations such as "I see" or "I understand" to show that you're engaged. Ask open-ended questions to encourage her to share and empathize with her emotions and experiences. For example, if she's talking about a difficult day at work, you could say, "That sounds challenging. How did you handle that situation?" By doing so, you're demonstrating that you're genuinely interested in her experiences and emotions.
When you're apart, she'll remember your unique connection and how you made her feel seen and understood, making her miss you. By being a good listener, you're fostering a deep bond that is both rare and valuable, making her look forward to spending more time with you and creating a lasting, genuine connection.
Creating memorable experiences is a powerful way to make her miss you when you're apart. By sharing unique moments and adventures, you're building a stronger bond and giving her special memories that she'll cherish and think about when you're not around. The more positive and memorable experiences you share, the more she'll associate you with joy, excitement, and happiness, making her long for your company.
To create memorable experiences, plan enjoyable and meaningful activities for both of you. It could be as simple as taking a scenic hike, trying a new restaurant, or attending a concert of your favorite band.
You can also explore new places together, like a weekend trip to a nearby town or vacationing to an exotic destination. Engage in activities encouraging conversation and bonding, such as cooking a meal together or participating in a workshop or class. For example, you could sign up for a dance class or a pottery workshop, creating a shared experience that allows you to learn and grow together.
By creating memorable experiences, you're showing her that you value the time you spend together and are committed to keeping the relationship fresh and exciting. When you're apart, she'll be reminded of your good times and eagerly anticipate the next adventure you'll share. This emotional connection will make her miss you and strengthen your bond in the long run.
8) Show Interest
Showing genuine interest in her life, thoughts, and feelings is key to building a strong connection and making her miss you when you're not around. Demonstrating that you care about her experiences and emotions creates a sense of trust and intimacy essential for a healthy, long-lasting relationship. She'll remember your emotional support and understanding when you're apart, making her long for your company.
Ask thoughtful questions about her day, interests, and aspirations to show interest in her. Be curious about her hobbies, work, or family life, and actively engage in conversations about these topics.
For example, if she's passionate about photography, ask her about her favorite subjects to shoot, the equipment she uses, and if she has any upcoming projects or goals. When she shares something important or exciting with you, celebrate her achievements and encourage her to pursue her dreams. Moreover, please pay attention to the small details in her stories, as this will demonstrate that you truly listen and care about what she says.
You create an environment where she feels valued and appreciated by showing genuine interest in her life. This emotional connection will make her miss you when you're apart, as she'll long for the understanding and support that you provide. Investing time and effort in getting to know her on a deeper level will help you forge a strong, authentic bond that can stand the test of time.
9) Be Patient
Patience is essential for building a strong, lasting relationship and making her miss you when you're not around. Patience shows that you respect her feelings and boundaries and will give her the time and space to feel comfortable in your connection. Demonstrating patience also helps create a sense of security and trust, as she'll know that you're not trying to rush or pressure her into anything.
For example, if she's going through a difficult time or needs space to process her emotions, give her the time she needs without pushing for immediate answers or resolutions. Instead, let her know you're there for her and willing to wait until she's ready to talk or move forward. Similarly, when making decisions about your relationship, be patient and understanding of her thoughts and concerns, allowing for open communication and collaboration.
10) Give Her Gifts
Giving her thoughtful gifts is a wonderful way to show affection and make her miss you when you're not around. These gifts don't have to be extravagant or expensive; the thought and effort you put into selecting or creating something special truly counts.
When choosing a gift, consider her interests, hobbies, and preferences to show that you've paid attention and know what she likes. For example, you could surprise her with a book by her favorite author, a custom piece of jewelry that reflects her style, or even a handwritten letter expressing your feelings.
11) Be Unpredictable
On the other hand, being unpredictable adds excitement and intrigue to your relationship, making her miss you and look forward to your next interaction. By keeping her guessing and occasionally surprising her with spontaneous plans or gestures, you create a sense of anticipation and show that you're willing to put in the effort to keep the relationship fresh and exciting.
For instance, you could surprise her with a weekend getaway to a nearby town, a romantic picnic in the park, or tickets to an event she's been eager to attend. Mixing up your routine and incorporating surprises will keep her on her toes and make her miss the excitement and joy you bring to her life.
12) Be Kind To Her Friends
Being kind to her friends is a powerful way to make a positive impression on her and ensure that she misses you when you're not around. Her friends are important to her, and by treating them with respect and kindness, you show that you value her social circle and understand its significance in her life.
When you're apart, she'll remember how well you integrated into her world and how much her friends enjoyed your company, making her long for your presence.
She should be kind to her friends, try to engage with them in conversation, show genuine interest in their lives, and listen actively when they speak. Offer help when needed and be supportive at social gatherings or events.
For example, if you're attending a party together, try talking to your friends and engaging in group activities, even outside your comfort zone. By showing kindness and respect to her friends, you'll create a positive atmosphere and a strong foundation for your relationship, making her miss the warmth and camaraderie you bring when you're not together.
13) Encourage Her Independence
Encouraging her independence is vital to building a healthy relationship and making her miss you when you're apart. By supporting her autonomy, you demonstrate that you respect her individuality and trust her to make her own decisions. This fosters a sense of security and self-confidence, making her value the time you spend together even more.
For example, if she wants to pursue a new hobby or spend time with her friends, be supportive and understanding, even if it means spending less time together. Doing so creates a balanced relationship where both partners can grow and thrive individually, making her miss the emotional support and respect you provide.
14) Encourage Her Self Growth
Encouraging her self-growth is another essential component of making her miss you. You become an invaluable source of inspiration and motivation in her life by supporting her personal development and encouraging her to be the best version of herself. Help her set and achieve her goals, whether related to her career, hobbies, or personal well-being.
Offer constructive feedback and be a sounding board for her ideas while celebrating her successes and achievements. For example, if she's working on a personal project, offer to brainstorm ideas together or provide resources to help her succeed. By actively participating in her journey of self-growth, you create a deep bond that she'll miss when you're not around, as she'll long for the emotional support and guidance you provide.
Explore Your Attachment Style
If you still have lingering questions about relationships, consider exploring your attachment style. Attachment styles are a phenomenon in psychology explaining how people form attachments to people as children and adults. Our attachment style forms with our primary caregivers but can influence how we choose romantic partners as adults. This may sound strange, and it is. But psychologists have studied attachment styles for decades and have found they can inform people regarding their relationships and how to “pick” better partners.
This free test can be the springboard for learning about your attachment style.