How To Ask A Guy Out (47 Examples + Cute Texts)

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Practical Psychology

Going through the crazy dance of romantic interests can be both exhilarating and daunting. Whether you're taking the first step to express your feelings or hoping to spark interest in someone special, understanding the subtle nuances of attraction can be your guiding star.

There are a few ways to ask a guy out, here are the most common methods:

  • Asking them directly
  • Asking through a friend
  • Asking through a text
  • Asking with a notecard
  • Waiting for them to ask you
a cute girl asking a guy out

As you embark on this journey of discovery, remember that while strategies and tips can be helpful, authenticity is the cornerstone of any lasting bond. This article aims to equip you with knowledge, but the true magic lies in genuine interactions, mutual respect, and heartfelt connections.

Make Sure You Like Him

Ah, the age-old question of whether or not you truly like someone. Before diving headfirst into the world of dating and relationships, it's essential to take a moment and reflect on your feelings.

First and foremost, let's differentiate between genuine affection and a fleeting crush. It's completely natural to be attracted to someone based on their looks or a brief interaction. However, genuine feelings go beyond surface-level attraction.

Ask yourself: Do you genuinely enjoy his company?

self reflection about your feelings about a guy

Do you find yourself wanting to know more about him, not just what he looks like or his social status? Are you interested in his thoughts, opinions, and dreams? If the answer is yes, then you're on the right track. If not, you might find this list of over 200 questions to ask a guy helpful to learn more about him.

It's not just about asking a guy out; it's about forming a connection based on mutual respect and understanding. So, before you even think about the perfect setting or the right words, ensure that your intentions are genuine. It's not only fair to him but also to yourself.

In the grand scheme of things, asking someone out is about more than just a date. It's about expressing interest in another person's life and wanting to be a part of it.

So, take a deep breath, reflect on your feelings, and make sure you're ready for this exciting journey. Remember, every meaningful relationship starts with a simple question. And when you're sure about your feelings, you'll find the confidence to ask that question with sincerity and grace.

Building Self Confidence

Building self-confidence is a journey, not a destination. And when it comes to asking someone out, confidence can be your best ally. But let's be clear: confidence isn't about being fearless; it's about believing in yourself despite the fear.

Recognizing your worth

You are unique, with your own set of experiences, dreams, and quirks. Embrace them! Every time you catch yourself thinking, "Why would he be interested in me?" challenge that thought.

Remind yourself of your strengths, achievements, and the qualities that make you, well, you. Jotting these down in a journal can be a therapeutic exercise. Over time, you'll have a list of affirmations that you can revisit whenever self-doubt creeps in.

Practice Self-compassion

Understand that everyone, even the most seemingly confident individuals, has moments of doubt. It's okay to feel nervous or uncertain. What's important is not letting these feelings hold you back.

Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would a close friend. If a friend were nervous about asking someone out, you'd likely offer words of encouragement, right? Extend that same compassion to yourself.

Visualize Success

a girl visualizing happiness

Picture yourself asking the guy out and imagine a positive response. Visualization can be a powerful tool in building confidence. By mentally rehearsing the scenario, you're preparing yourself for the real deal.

Surround Yourself With Positivity

Whether it's friends, family, or mentors, having a support system can make a world of difference. Share your feelings and fears with someone you trust.

Often, just voicing your concerns can help diminish them. Plus, you never know – they might offer a perspective or advice you hadn't considered.

Choosing The Right Setting

Choosing the right setting to ask someone out is like setting the stage for a memorable scene in a movie. It can set the tone, create a mood, and make the moment feel just right. But with so many options out there, how do you pick the perfect backdrop for this significant step? Let's explore some scenarios together.

  1. The Coffee Shop: Imagine the two of you are at your favorite local coffee shop. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee fills the air, and there's a soft hum of conversations around. You're both relaxed, sipping on your favorite drinks. It's casual, yet intimate – a perfect setting to express your feelings.
  2. During a Walk: Picture a serene park or a beachside walk. The sun is setting, casting a golden hue everywhere. As you both walk side by side, the natural beauty around can be a calming influence, making it easier to broach the topic.
  3. At a Group Hangout: Sometimes, being in a group can take off the pressure. Maybe you're all at a bowling alley or a karaoke night. Amidst the fun and laughter, you find a quiet moment to pull him aside and express your feelings.
  4. At a Hobby Class: Do you both share a common interest, like a pottery class or a dance workshop? The shared activity can be a great icebreaker. As you both engage in something you love, it can be the right moment to segue into a more personal conversation.
  5. Online: In today's digital age, sometimes the right setting is behind a screen. Maybe it's during a late-night chat or a video call. The key is to ensure the conversation feels genuine and not rushed.
  6. Special Places: Think of places that hold significance for the two of you. It could be where you first met, a favorite hangout spot, or even a place you've both talked about visiting. The familiarity and significance of the location can add an extra layer of sentiment to your proposal.
  7. During an Event: Maybe you're both at a concert of a band you love or a movie premiere. The shared excitement can be a great catalyst for taking the next step.

When choosing the right setting, consider both your comfort levels. It should be a place where you both can talk without too many distractions. The ambiance should make both of you feel at ease, allowing for an open and honest conversation.

Timing The Question Right

Timing, as they say, is everything. And when it comes to asking someone out, this couldn't be truer. By this time, you should know that he likes you, if not, here are some signs that all guys show to display their attraction. Just like choosing the right setting can set the stage, picking the right moment can make all the difference in how your proposal is received. So, how do you know when the time is just right? Let's delve into this.

  • When You're Both Relaxed: It's essential to approach the topic when you're both in a relaxed state of mind. If he's stressed about an upcoming exam or preoccupied with a work project, it might not be the best time. On the other hand, a leisurely weekend afternoon or after a fun outing can be ideal.
  • After a Deep Conversation: Sometimes, the best moments to ask someone out come after you've shared a meaningful conversation. It could be about dreams, aspirations, or just life in general. When you're both feeling connected and understood, it can be a natural transition to express your feelings.
  • Avoiding Major Life Events: If he's going through a significant life event, like a family crisis or a personal challenge, it might be wise to hold off. During such times, emotions can run high, and he might not be in the best frame of mind to process your proposal.
  • When You Feel the Spark: Trust your instincts. Sometimes, you'll just feel that undeniable spark or connection. It could be during a shared laugh or a moment of silence. When you feel that the vibe is right, go for it!
  • Not Too Late in the Night: While late-night conversations can be intimate, they can also be clouded by fatigue. It's best to approach the topic when you're both alert and can engage in a meaningful conversation.
  • When You're Alone: While asking someone out in a group setting can work, having a one-on-one conversation ensures privacy and reduces potential distractions or pressures.
  • After a Shared Experience: Did you both just experience something memorable together? Maybe you collaborated on a successful project, or you both enjoyed a fantastic concert. Riding on the wave of that shared experience can be a great time to express your feelings.

Timing the question right is about being attuned to his feelings and the situation. It's about finding that sweet spot where you're both open, receptive, and in the moment.

Make It Personal

Making your proposal personal is like adding a special touch to a gift—it shows thought, care, and genuine interest. When you tailor your approach to the unique bond you share with him, it not only stands out but also resonates more deeply.

Imagine Sarah and Jake. They had bonded over their shared love for old-school jazz. Sarah remembered how Jake's eyes lit up when he spoke about the first time he heard Louis Armstrong's trumpet.

So, when she decided to ask him out, she chose a jazz café they had once talked about. As the soft notes of a saxophone played in the background, she expressed her feelings, mentioning how their shared love for jazz was just one of the many things she admired about him.

By making it personal, Sarah not only created a memorable moment but also showed Jake that she valued their shared experiences.

Then there's the story of Alex and Ryan. They had met during a hiking trip and had since shared many adventures together. Alex knew that Ryan cherished the memories of their hikes, especially the one where they had camped under the stars.

So, when Alex decided to ask Ryan out, he took him to a quiet spot that overlooked the city. With the city lights twinkling below, Alex reminisced about their past adventures and expressed his desire to embark on a new journey together—a romantic one.

By drawing on their shared memories, Alex made his proposal deeply personal and meaningful.

Making it personal is about recognizing and celebrating the unique bond you share with the person. It's about showing them that you've been paying attention, that you cherish the moments you've spent together, and that you see a future filled with more such memories.

It's not about grand gestures or extravagant plans; it's about authenticity, thoughtfulness, and genuine connection.

So, when you decide to ask that special guy out, think about the moments, conversations, and experiences that define your relationship.

Use them as a foundation to build your proposal. By making it personal, you're not just asking someone out; you're inviting them to continue building a story that's uniquely yours.

Find Similarities

Finding common ground is a cornerstone of any budding relationship. Shared interests, values, and experiences can serve as a bridge, making the journey of getting to know someone smoother and more enjoyable. When you're thinking of asking a guy out, highlighting these similarities can be a subtle yet effective way to show that you're compatible and have potential as a couple.

For instance, if you've both geeked out over the same book series or have a mutual appreciation for a particular type of cuisine, bring it up. Mentioning something like, "You know, every time we talk about our favorite authors, I'm amazed at how similar our tastes are," can be a gentle lead-in to expressing your interest in exploring a romantic relationship.

These shared interests not only give you topics to bond over but also provide opportunities for future dates and experiences together.

Whether it's attending a concert of a band you both love, joining a workshop, or simply binge-watching a series you're both passionate about, these similarities can be the foundation upon which you build your relationship.

In essence, finding and emphasizing similarities is about showcasing the potential of your relationship. It's a way to say, "We have so much in common, and I'd love to see where this could lead." So, as you muster the courage to ask him out, let these shared interests be your ally, hinting at the many adventures and conversations that lie ahead.

47 Examples

  1. Direct Approach: "Hey, I think you're great. Would you like to go out sometime?"
  2. Text Message: "Hey! Fancy grabbing a coffee this weekend?"
  3. Phone Call: "I was wondering if you'd like to see a movie with me?"
  4. Through a Friend: "Our friend Sarah thought we'd hit it off. Want to meet up?"
  5. Handwritten Note: "I'd love to spend some time with you. How about dinner?"
  6. Event Invitation: "I have an extra ticket to this concert. Would you like to join?"
  7. Hobby Connection: "I heard you love hiking. Fancy a trek this Saturday?"
  8. Foodie Call: "I've been wanting to try this new restaurant. Care to join?"
  9. Study Date: "We could study together for the upcoming test. What do you think?"
  10. Workout Buddy: "I'm looking for a gym partner. Interested?"
  11. Board Game Night: "I'm hosting a game night. Would you like to come?"
  12. Pet Playdate: "Our dogs seem to get along. How about a dog park date?"
  13. Cooking Together: "I'd love to cook a meal with you. Interested?"
  14. Beach Day: "The weather's great. Fancy a day at the beach?"
  15. Double Date: "My friend and her boyfriend are going out. Want to join as my date?"
  16. Trivia Night: "I'm going to trivia night at the local pub. Care to team up?"
  17. Book Club: "I'm starting a book club. Would you be interested?"
  18. Art Class: "I'm attending a pottery class. Want to come along?"
  19. Dance: "I've always wanted to learn salsa. Would you be my partner?"
  20. Travel: "I'm planning a weekend getaway. Fancy joining?"
  21. Festival: "There's a cool festival in town. Want to check it out with me?"
  22. Karaoke: "I'm going to a karaoke bar tonight. Care to sing a duet?"
  23. Stargazing: "The night sky is beautiful. Want to stargaze with me?"
  24. Wine Tasting: "I'm attending a wine tasting event. Interested?"
  25. Comedy Show: "I've got tickets to a comedy show. Want to laugh together?"
  26. Escape Room: "I'm trying an escape room this weekend. Fancy solving puzzles with me?"
  27. Virtual Date: "How about a virtual movie night?"
  28. Cooking Challenge: "Let's have a cooking challenge over Zoom. Interested?"
  29. Museum Visit: "I'm visiting the art museum. Care to join?"
  30. Picnic: "The park looks lovely. How about a picnic date?"
  31. Photography: "I'm exploring the city with my camera. Want to be my model?"
  32. Music Jam: "I heard you play the guitar. Fancy a jam session?"
  33. DIY Project: "I'm working on a DIY project. Care to help?"
  34. Gardening: "I'm planting a garden. Want to get your hands dirty with me?"
  35. Local Tour: "I'm exploring local attractions. Fancy being my tour guide?"
  36. Crafting: "I'm attending a crafting workshop. Interested?"
  37. Volunteering: "I'm volunteering at the local shelter. Care to join?"
  38. Biking: "I'm going for a bike ride. Want to come along?"
  39. Roller Skating: "There's a roller rink nearby. Fancy skating with me?"
  40. Bowling: "How about a bowling night?"
  41. Camping: "I'm planning a camping trip. Interested?"
  42. Fishing: "I'm going fishing this weekend. Care to join?"
  43. Theater: "I've got tickets to a play. Want to be my date?"
  44. Themed Party: "I'm hosting a 90s themed party. Fancy dressing up with me?"
  45. Magic Show: "I'm attending a magic show. Want to be amazed together?"
  46. Sports Game: "I've got tickets to the basketball game. Interested?"
  47. Brunch: "I've heard great things about this brunch place. Fancy trying it out?"
  48. DIY Gift: "I made this for you. How about we enjoy it together over dinner?"
  49. Farmers Market: "I'm heading to the farmers market this weekend. Want to pick out some fresh produce with me?"
  50. Cooking Class: "I'm signing up for a cooking class. Fancy whipping up some dishes together?"
  51. Zoo or Aquarium: "I'm planning to visit the zoo/aquarium. Would you like to see some animals/fish with me?"
  52. Rooftop Bar: "There's a new rooftop bar in town. Want to check out the view with me?"
  53. Sunrise/Sunset Watch: "I love watching the sunrise/sunset. Would you like to join me?"
  54. Local Fair: "The local fair is in town. Fancy some fun rides and cotton candy?"
  55. DIY Workshop: "I'm attending a DIY furniture workshop. Interested in building something cool?"
  56. Thrift Shopping: "I'm going thrift shopping. Want to find some vintage treasures with me?"
  57. Local Band: "A local band is playing tonight. Fancy some live music?"
  58. Yoga Class: "I'm trying out a yoga class. Care to stretch and relax with me?"
  59. Ice Cream Date: "I've heard about this amazing ice cream place. Want to taste some flavors with me?"
  60. Mini Golf: "How about a fun game of mini golf?"
  61. Drive-In Movie: "There's a drive-in movie tonight. Fancy a retro movie experience?"
  62. Local Brewery: "I'm touring a local brewery. Care to taste some craft beers with me?"
  63. Puzzle Night: "I'm in the mood for puzzles. Fancy a challenge?"
  64. Chocolate Tasting: "I'm attending a chocolate tasting event. Want to indulge with me?"
  65. Open Mic Night: "There's an open mic night at the cafe. Want to watch or maybe even perform?"
  66. Nature Walk: "I'm going for a nature walk. Fancy some fresh air and beautiful scenery?"
  67. Tea Tasting: "I'm exploring a tea house. Care to discover some exotic teas with me?"
  68. Art Gallery: "There's a new art exhibition in town. Want to explore some art with me?"
  69. DIY Pizza Night: "I'm making pizzas at home. Fancy creating your own toppings?"
  70. Spa Day: "I'm treating myself to a spa day. Care to relax and pamper with me?"
  71. Historical Tour: "I'm taking a historical tour of the city. Interested in some history and stories?"
  72. Candle Making: "I'm attending a candle-making workshop. Fancy crafting some scented candles?"
  73. Night Market: "The night market is open. Want to explore and try some street food?"
  74. Hot Air Balloon Ride: "I've always wanted to go on a hot air balloon ride. Fancy an adventure in the sky?"
  75. Potluck Dinner: "I'm hosting a potluck dinner. Want to cook and share a dish?"
  76. Meditation Session: "I'm trying out a meditation session. Care to find some inner peace with me?"
  77. Language Class: "I'm learning a new language. Fancy practicing conversations with me?"
  78. Coffee Tasting: "I'm exploring a new coffee shop. Want to taste some brews with me?"
  79. Scavenger Hunt: "I've set up a fun scavenger hunt. Care to solve clues and find treasures with me?"
  80. Craft Beer Night: "I'm hosting a craft beer tasting night. Fancy discovering some new beers?"
  81. Sculpting Class: "I'm trying out a sculpting class. Want to mold and create with me?"
  82. Tailgate Party: "I'm going to a tailgate party. Fancy some pre-game fun?"
  83. Charity Event: "I'm attending a charity event. Would you like to support a good cause with me?"
  84. Jazz Club: "There's a jazz club I've been wanting to visit. Care to enjoy some smooth tunes with me?"

Dealing With Rejection

Rejection, while an inevitable part of life, can be a tough pill to swallow, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Shoot, even on our article on asking a girl out, we have to share rejection tips, because it's universal.

Whether you've mustered the courage to ask someone out or expressed your feelings, facing a "no" can be disheartening. However, with the right perspective and coping strategies, you can navigate this emotional terrain with grace and resilience. Here's a detailed guide to help you deal with rejection:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

It's natural to feel hurt, disappointed, or even embarrassed after facing rejection. Instead of suppressing these emotions, allow yourself to feel them. It's okay to grieve the outcome you had hoped for. By acknowledging your feelings, you're taking the first step towards healing.

2. Avoid Personalizing the Rejection

Remember, rejection is not a reflection of your worth or value. There could be numerous reasons someone might not reciprocate your feelings, many of which might have nothing to do with you. Avoid internalizing the rejection as a personal failure or flaw.

3. Seek Support

Talk to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or therapist. Sharing your feelings can provide relief and offer a fresh perspective on the situation. Sometimes, just having someone listen can be therapeutic.

4. Reframe Your Perspective

Instead of viewing rejection as a setback, consider it a redirection. Perhaps this particular relationship wasn't meant to be, and there's something better awaiting you. Embrace the belief that every experience, including rejection, contributes to your personal growth.

5. Practice Self-compassion

Be kind to yourself. Avoid negative self-talk or berating yourself for the outcome. Treat yourself with the same compassion and understanding you'd offer a friend in a similar situation.

6. Stay Active

Engage in activities that uplift your spirits. Whether it's pursuing a hobby, exercising, or simply taking a walk, staying active can boost your mood and divert your mind from ruminating on the rejection.

7. Set New Goals

Rejection can be an opportunity to reassess your goals and priorities. Maybe it's time to focus on personal growth, pick up a new skill, or even explore new social circles. Setting and working towards new goals can provide a sense of purpose and direction.

8. Avoid Seeking Validation

It's essential to find validation from within rather than seeking it externally. Your worth isn't determined by someone else's opinion or acceptance. Cultivate self-love and recognize your intrinsic value.

9. Limit Social Media Exposure

If the rejection involves someone from your social circle, consider taking a break from social media. Constant updates or seeing their posts can be a painful reminder and hinder your healing process.

10. Remember Past Resilience

Recall times in the past when you've faced challenges or setbacks and how you overcame them. Drawing strength from past resilience can empower you to navigate the current situation.

11. Consider Professional Help

If you find it challenging to cope with rejection and it's affecting your mental well-being, consider seeking professional help. Therapists can provide coping strategies and a safe space to process your feelings.

How To Ask A Guy Out Over Text

asking a guy out through a text

Texting can be a convenient and less intimidating way to express your feelings. Here are some examples of how to ask a guy out over text:

  1. "Hey! I've been thinking, we should grab a coffee together this weekend. What do you think?"
  2. "There's this new movie out that I think we'd both love. Want to watch it together?"
  3. "I've always wanted to try [specific restaurant]. Would you be interested in joining me?"
  4. "I remember you mentioning you love jazz. There's a jazz night at [venue] this Friday. Fancy joining me?"
  5. "I'm planning a day trip to [place] next weekend. Thought it might be fun if we went together. Interested?"
  6. "Hey! I've got an extra ticket to [event/concert]. Would you like to come with me?"
  7. "I'm in the mood for some adventure. How about we try that new escape room downtown?"
  8. "I've been wanting to visit [museum/gallery]. Would you be up for it?"
  9. "How about a picnic in the park this Sunday? I promise to bring some delicious treats!"
  10. "I'm trying out a new recipe and could use a taste tester. Fancy dinner at my place?"
  11. "There's a cool workshop happening at [venue] next week. Thought it might be something we'd both enjoy. Want to join?"
  12. "I've heard great things about the sunset views at [spot]. How about we check it out together?"
  13. "I'm in the mood for a board game night. Interested in some friendly competition?"
  14. "Hey! I'm free this Saturday and was thinking it'd be fun to hang out. Any plans?"
  15. "I've been wanting to explore [area/neighborhood]. Fancy a day out together?"

Remember, when asking someone out over text, it's essential to keep the tone light and casual. It reduces the pressure and allows the other person to respond at their own pace. And regardless of the response, be gracious and understanding.

How To Get A Guy To Ask You Out

If you're wanting to get a guy to like you, and maybe even take the plunge to ask you out, here's some keywords and psychological vocabulary for you to learn to improve your chances.

Reciprocity plays a significant role in human interactions; when you show genuine interest in someone's life or hobbies, they're likely to return that interest. Mirroring, the subtle act of reflecting someone's body language or speech patterns, can foster a sense of closeness and understanding. Always ensure you come across as approachable by maintaining a genuine smile, open body language, and consistent eye contact. Building shared experiences, whether through group activities or collaborative projects, can naturally draw you closer to someone.

There's power in vulnerability; by opening up and sharing personal stories, you can create a deeper bond. The mere exposure effect suggests that the more someone encounters you, the more they might grow fond of you, so find natural ways to be around without overwhelming them. Active listening, where you deeply engage in conversations and ask open-ended questions, can make someone feel truly valued. Sprinkle in genuine compliments to make them feel appreciated, but ensure they're sincere and not overdone.

A touch of playfulness and light teasing can introduce a fun dynamic, but always be respectful and ensure it's mutual. While it's good to be an open book, maintaining a bit of mystery can pique his curiosity and keep him intrigued. Social proof, or the idea that if others enjoy your company, he might too, can be subtly influential. Lastly, balance availability vs. scarcity; while playing "hard to get" can sometimes spark interest, it's essential to strike a balance so you neither come off as too distant nor too eager.

Remember, while these psychological insights can guide you, authenticity remains paramount. Building a genuine connection based on mutual respect and understanding should always be the goal.

Asking Through A Friend

There's a timeless charm to the age-old method of asking someone out through a friend.

It's a method that has been depicted in countless stories, movies, and real-life scenarios. At its core, this approach offers a safety net, allowing one to gauge the waters of interest without diving in headfirst. It can be especially appealing for those who are shy or fear direct rejection, as it provides a buffer against potential disappointment.

However, asking someone out through a friend comes with its own set of dynamics.

Firstly, it requires a deep trust in the intermediary friend. This person becomes the bridge between two potential love interests, and their interpretation and delivery of the message can significantly influence the outcome. It's crucial to ensure that the friend understands the depth of your feelings and can convey them accurately.

There's the added layer of their own perceptions and biases, which might color the message, intentionally or unintentionally.

Another aspect to consider is the response time. Unlike a direct approach, where feedback is often immediate, using a friend as a messenger can introduce a waiting period, filled with anticipation and anxiety.

On the positive side, if the feelings are reciprocated, it can create a delightful suspense that adds to the budding romance's charm. However, if the answer isn't favorable, it can lead to a prolonged period of uncertainty.


In the intricate tapestry of human relationships, understanding the threads of attraction and connection can be both enlightening and empowering. While the psychological insights shared in this article offer valuable guidance, it's essential to remember that every individual and every interaction is unique.

The beauty of romance lies not just in the strategies we employ but in the spontaneous moments, the shared laughter, and the genuine emotions that unfold. As you navigate the world of romantic interests, armed with knowledge and understanding, always prioritize authenticity and mutual respect.

After all, the most profound connections are built on a foundation of trust, understanding, and genuine affection. Embrace the journey, cherish the moments, and let your heart lead the way.

Reference this article:

Practical Psychology. (2023, September). How To Ask A Guy Out (47 Examples + Cute Texts). Retrieved from

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