We’ve all been in a place where we want a guy to miss us. Maybe you’re going through a breakup and want your ex to want you the way he wanted you when you first got together. Or, you’ve recently started talking to someone and want to grab his attention away from other possible matches.
Can you make a guy miss you? Well, this page will give you tips if you want to try it out! You cannot make another person feel a certain way, but you can present yourself and your life irresistibly to potential or former partners!
You Can’t “Make” Anyone Feel Anything
Before breaking out a whiteboard and devising a strategy to win someone over, check in with your expectations. Even the smartest person in the world does not have a way to exert direct control over another person’s feelings. Many factors influence how someone feels about an ex, a potential partner, or a friend. You likely don’t know all those factors, especially if you are not having open and honest conversations with the person at the time.
The following tips will encourage you to regain the power of things within your control. You can only control your feelings. Fortunately, all of these tips are ways to help you grow and feel secure in yourself as a person. Even if you don’t “win the person back” or win them over, you will walk away with wins. Improving yourself will have effects that last longer than any short-term relationship.
With that being said, here are 11 ways to make a guy miss you:
- Reach out for closure
- Explore your attachment
- Create some space
- Live your own life
- Look for ways to grow
- Stay positive on social media
- Be more spontaneous
- Make memories next time you're with him
- End conversations on a high note
- Surprise him occasionally
- Be emotionally available
Reach Out for Closure
Before you go on a journey to make a person miss you, check in to ensure that they don’t miss you already. Poor communication is not uncommon, especially between two people who have just met or are starting to get to know each other. Reach “closure” with this guy first. Once you have that closure and nothing is left to be said (for now), you will have an easier time focusing on yourself and your journey.
If You’ve Been on a Few Dates
Maybe you want to make a guy miss you because he’s ghosted you! You’ve been talking or even gone on a few dates, and suddenly you’re not hearing anything back. Is this guy not into you anymore? Has he found someone else? Or is he just busy, distracted, or taking some space for himself before he explores your relationship further?
Stalking social media posts or reading past text messages won’t give you the answer. Honest, clear communication is. Get closure by sending him one of a few different messages:
- “Hey, I am starting to feel a disconnect between us. Do you still want to continue seeing each other?”
- “I just wanted to follow up about going on a(nother) date. Are you still interested?”
- “I can’t tell from your messages if you’re still interested in pursuing things further. How are you feeling?”
All of these questions allow the guy to break things off politely or communicate how he’s feeling about your relationship. If he expresses interest, great! If he shares that he’s not feeling the chemistry or isn’t interested. You have the necessary closure and can move on to the next person.
If You’ve Broken Up or Are On a Break
Maybe your relationship got to a place of exclusivity. This guy was your “boyfriend,” but he’s interested in taking a break or breaking up permanently. If things seemed to be going well before, you will likely have questions about why he’s feeling the way he does.
Take some time to sit and have an honest conversation. Give him space to speak honestly at a time best suited for him. This respect for his time and space will allow him to speak more openly and share his true feelings about why he wants to take a break. Listen to what he has to say. Don’t jump into a defense - listen. A calm, open conversation in which both parties have a turn to speak will yield the most effective results.
If, after this conversation, he has shared his feelings and you don’t have closure, explore that. It’s possible that this guy doesn’t know how to communicate properly or that you are relying on him for feelings of love and validation that you could be giving to yourself. There is no better time to explore this than when you’re on a break from a relationship.
Explore Your Attachment
As you look for ways to encourage a guy to miss you, explore why you miss that guy! Psychologists identified attachment styles to understand how people form and attach themselves to new relationships. Our attachment style is first formed by developing a relationship with our parents. Depending on a parent’s ability to meet our needs (food, shelter, love, confidence, etc.), we may form a secure or an insecure attachment style.
Psychologists discovered that attachment styles impact adult relationships, including how we attach ourselves to a new person (or don’t.) Take an attachment styles quiz, or talk to a mental health counselor about your attachment style. As you explore the relationship with your parents and adult romantic relationships, you may gain insight into how you communicate and make important relationship decisions.
Create Some Space
A guy isn’t going to miss someone who he can rely on to text him every day. Create some space between yourself and this guy. Don’t reach out once you’ve had closure. Don’t “like” his posts or slide into his DMs. If you have mutual friends, you don’t have to go out of your way to avoid him. Just create some space. Allow some mystery to blossom between the two of you. If this guy was interested before, a little mystery will keep him intrigued.
What Happens If You Can’t Help But Text Him?
Do you end up impulsively sending a text after overthinking a lot? Consider how you are filling your time. Look for activities that will take up your thoughts and time so you are not constantly sitting by your phone. Creating space between you and a guy doesn’t mean you have to lock your phone in a safe and sit around doing nothing. Find ways to keep yourself occupied and grow!
Live Your Life
Once everything has been said, it’s time to live your life. Really! Guys don’t miss people who are sitting around their houses feeling miserable. Pouting isn’t desirable. Longing isn’t desirable. If you want someone to miss you, you need them to want to be around you. The best way to do that is to be a person people want to be around!
Of course, when you’re feeling down, this can be easier said than done. But small actions can help you pick yourself up after being let down. It’s up to you to determine how you feel and how you want to feel. Do you want to feel and be happy?
Look The Way You Want to Feel
Have you ever heard someone say you should smile if you feel bad? If we look happy, we are more likely to feel happy. If we look great, we are more likely to feel great! Take time to treat yourself and look the way you want to feel. Want to feel fabulous? Look fabulous! Want to feel stunning? Look stunning!
You don’t have to spend much money to look and feel great. Any of these “quick fixes” can make you smile!
- Getting a haircut at a salon
- Going to get a manicure/pedicure with friends
- Buying a big pair of sunglasses and a bold, new lipstick
- Using a gua sha, ice roller, or jade roller on your face
- Putting on a face mask
- Smiling!
- Try red lipstick (and see how white your teeth look!)
- Wearing heels for no reason
- Shaving/exfoliating your legs
- Tweezing your eyebrows (or buying an eyebrow brush to make them look thicker!)
- Thrifting a cute dress or crop top
- Go to a yoga class
- Treat yourself to a sauna or pool day
- Take yourself on a dinner date
One article of clothing, or one day out treating yourself, can be the key to bringing a smile to your face and some pep to your step. If you’re feeling extra cute, post a picture on social media!
Do What Makes You Happy
What’s more fun? Sitting at home, waiting for some guy to text you back, or riding a rollercoaster? Seeing a funny movie? Kayaking with your best friends? Spend your time doing what makes you happy. If your mind is occupied with things that take you away from your phone, you’re less likely to be sitting and thinking of the guy you want to win back. The less time you think about this guy, the less likely you’ll overthink your relationship and do something you regret.
If you’re feeling down, start doing what makes you happy by writing down what makes you happy. What makes you, as an independent person, happy? Working on an art project? Going to a climbing gym? Getting brunch with friends? Write down a list of these things, and cross them off individually. Make it a challenge. Can you do something that makes you feel special every day?
Live As Though You Don’t Miss Anyone!
What would you be doing without worrying about your relationship status? Do that! The sooner you live as though you don’t miss anyone, the more people will want to be around you. You might even find that a new person, or the guy you’re trying to attract, reaches out to you for a romantic connection.
Go On Dates With Someone Else!
This whole post is about trying to attract (or re-attract) one person, but the reality is, that there are plenty of fish in the sea! If you are hung up on someone, go on a date with someone else! A casual date may take your mind off the person you are missing, and you may see something in this new person that makes you see your current relationship problems differently. There might be a guy out there who doesn’t want to play mind games with you or is enthusiastic about seeing you again. If you feel chemistry with this guy and he’s putting in more effort than another person, pursue him!
Look For Ways to Grow
Take a moment to think about the person that you want to be. Not the person that one specific guy wants to be - who do you want to be? Do you want to be stronger, physically active, or spend more time helping others? Do you want to have a beautiful home or climb the job ladder? When you’re single and have more time to dedicate to yourself, you have more time to dedicate to growing and being this person. This re-prioritization will keep your mind off the guy you’re missing and pay off in the long run as you grow and improve yourself.
Stay Positive on Social Media…
It’s common to want to express your negative or hurt feelings when feeling them. Many people express their feelings by sharing quotes, photos, or writing honestly about their feelings on social media. While this can feel helpful now, it won’t make a guy miss you. Likely, they won’t read your hurt feelings or read into a sad quote you post on your story. All these posts will do is let people know you’re hurting. Instead, write out your feelings in a journal to process them privately. Post something positive on social media when you feel you have expressed yourself.
…Or Don’t Post at All On Social Media!
There’s nothing wrong with being mysterious. You will give this guy nothing if you don’t post at all. He might wonder if you’re dating, traveling, seeing someone, you name it! If he’s curious as to what you’re doing or how you’re doing, he will reach out.
Be More Spontaneous
Being spontaneous can make your relationship more exciting and keep a guy thinking about you when you're apart. Try to break free from routines and be open to new experiences. For instance, plan a surprise weekend getaway, try a new activity together, or introduce him to a new cuisine you think he'd enjoy.
Embrace your adventurous side and show him that life with you is always full of surprises. Adding an element of unpredictability will create a sense of anticipation, making him miss you and look forward to your next encounter.
Make Memories
Creating memorable experiences together is an excellent way to strengthen your connection and make a guy miss you when you're not around. Focus on maximizing your time together by doing things you enjoy.
For example, you can explore new places, attend concerts or sporting events, hike, or picnic. Capture these moments through photos or videos, and share them to reminisce later. By creating shared memories, you're giving him something to think about and miss when you're apart, and he'll eagerly anticipate creating more memories with you in the future.
End Conversations On A High Note
When you end conversations positively, you leave him wanting more and looking forward to your next interaction. To achieve this, try to avoid dragging conversations out until they become mundane or end on a negative note. Instead, save some topics for future discussions and always try to part on a cheerful or uplifting note.
For example, you could share a funny story or joke, express gratitude for the time spent together, or give him a warm, genuine smile. By leaving him with a positive impression, you increase the likelihood that he'll miss you and eagerly await your next conversation.
Surprise Him
Surprising your guy now and then can make your relationship more exciting and keep you on his mind. You don't have to spend much money or make grand gestures; small, thoughtful surprises can be just as meaningful.
For example, you could send him a heartfelt message when he least expects it, drop off his favorite snack at his workplace, or plan a special date night to celebrate an achievement or milestone. These surprises show that you care and are thinking of him, which will make him miss you and appreciate the extra effort you put into the relationship.
Be Emotionally Available
Being emotionally available is essential for building a deep connection with your guy. Open up to him about your feelings, fears, and dreams, and encourage him to do the same. When you share your emotions and vulnerabilities, you create a safe space for both of you to be yourselves and grow closer. For example, if you're going through a difficult time, let him know how you feel and ask for his support. You'll forge a bond he'll miss when you're apart by being emotionally available and nurturing an atmosphere of trust and understanding.
Quotes About Being Single and Dating To Give You Hope During Rough Patches
- “I don’t need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we’ll ever have is the one with ourselves.” —Shirley MacLaine
- “There is so much hurt in this game of searching for a mate, of testing, trying. And you realize suddenly that you forgot it was a game, and turn away in tears.” – Sylvia Plath
- “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.” – Maya Angelou
- “Date someone because you already see a future, not because you want to see if you would work out.” – Sarah Moores
- “First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love.” – Maya Angelou
- "If you don't act like you've been hit by the plague when you're alone on a Friday night, and just see it as a chance to have fun by yourself, it's not a bad day." —Taylor Swift
- “Being single is about celebrating and appreciating your own space that you’re in.” – Kelly Rowland
- “I think heartbreak is something that you learn to live with as opposed to learn to forget.” – Kate Winslet
- “I’m single because I was born that way.” – Mae West
- “You need a lot of luck to find people with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. Some people manage to find their soulmate. Others don’t. I think love is like a lottery.” – Kylie Minogue
- “People aren’t defined by their relationships.” – Nina Dobrev
- “When you go through heartbreak, you just do the things that get you by. Eventually, you realize it’s about making the most of life.” – Britney Spears
- “Single? No, I’m just in a relationship with freedom.” – Anonymous
Quotes About Raising Your Standards in Dating
- "One of my favorite parts of being single is how I get to choose who I spend my time with, share my heart with, hang with, giggle with, call, dine across from." —Tracee Ellis Ross
- “It’s far better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone — so far.” -Marilyn Monroe
- “Never apologize for having high standards. People who really want to be in your life will rise up to meet them.” ― Anonymous
- “How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being?” -Oscar Wilde
- “Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you’re wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn’t love you anymore.” – Lady Gaga
- “Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.” -Frida Kahlo
- “It’s probably not just by chance that I’m alone. It would be very hard for a man to live with me, unless he’s terribly strong. And if he’s stronger than I, I’m the one who can’t live with him." — Coco Chanel
- “Raise your standards to exceed your expectations.” ― Cecily Morgan
- "Being single used to mean that nobody wanted you. Now it means you’re pretty sexy and you’re taking your time deciding how you want your life to be and who you want to spend it with." —Carrie Bradshaw
- "You don't need to wrangle some warm body to sit next to just so you aren't alone on holidays." — Amy Schumer
- “You have set standards for how you want to be treated and what you expect from yourself and for yourself.” ― Iyanla Vanzant
- “Raise your standards and the universe will meet you there.” ― Anonymous
