Why Confidence is Attractive in Dating Relationships

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Practical Psychology

Many guys think they need to have an athletic body that is shaped and toned by hours on end spent in the gym. Or they go out of their way to wear trendy clothes and have perfectly styled hair to look good for a girl they like. They think they have an idea about how to attract a girl, but still always question if there is a magical quality that will help them get any girl. Sorry to break it to you, but no such perfect quality exists. Just as each individual guy has his own “type”, each girl is drawn toward specific qualities in a guy. Yet there is one quality that will likely catch the eye of most girls that come your way.

confident man

What Do Girls Find Attractive?

Confidence. Seeing a guy who walks and talks with confidence is appealing to women. This is proven, again and again, by research studies, by relationship experts, and just by going out on the town and being a confident guy at the bar. 

Why is Confidence So Attractive?

Before we delve into how to find and utilize confidence to “woo” a girl, it is important to understand why people are so attracted to confidence. Sure, there is likely some deep phycological reason for this that connects back to human nature and instinct, but there is also a social reason as well.

Think about it; someone who is confident, happy, and secure in themselves is intriguing. It makes a girl wonder what could possibly be so fascinating about this confident guy and make her want to discover more. A confident person is also easier to approach and talk to. If you appear comfortable talking to a girl, she is going to feel much more comfortable talking to you, too. Let’s face it, many girls get nervous when talking to guys, and if you can appear confident and easy to talk to, they will feel much more up for having a conversation.

Asking Women Why Confidence is So Attractive

Want to know more about why women think confidence is attractive? Hear it from women themselves! This Reddit post asked women why confidence is attractive, and the comments are definitely insightful.

Arrogance is Not Attractive

It is so important to note the difference between confidence and arrogance. Confidence is attractive. Arrogance, on the other hand, is not. It is healthy for a person to have confidence in themselves and their abilities, but when that confidence crosses the line and turns into egotism and superiority, it can quickly turn unappealing. Many girls are turned off by an arrogant guy. It may make the girl think he is a jerk and lacking consideration.

All girls want a guy who is considerate towards her needs and feelings, so seeing a lack of consideration may cause her to look elsewhere. Also, if you are arrogant and showy, then a girl may not feel entirely comfortable talking to you. They key to asking out a girl is to make yourself easy to talk to, so it is important to be confident without being cocky.

couple having fun

How to Find that Confidence in Relationships and Dating

You may be thinking: I have no confidence. To some extent, it is a “fake it till you make it” sort of situation. However, in reality, everyone has insecurities and even those guys who appear most put together and outgoing have anxieties about themselves. All women do as well. Confidence is not about having no flaws, but about accepting your flaws and embracing your qualities. You do not have to be loud, suave, or even outgoing to appear confident. It is all about recognizing the best in yourself and embracing it.

If you are funny, embrace your humor and find confidence through using jokes and witty puns in conversation. If you are talented in art or music, then put yourself in an environment where you can utilize that talent. Perform at an open mic night or display your artwork. Embracing things you love and are good at will help build your confidence and showcase those wonderful qualities you have. When you do, a girl is bound to take notice.

However, it is most important that whatever confidence you show is genuine, because girls can so easily see through a guy who is acting loud and proud all for show. Girls do not just want to see a confident man, they want to see someone who is genuinely happy with who he is or what he is doing. Again this goes back to the confidence versus arrogance argument. Genuine confidence will mean so much more to a girl than fake, forced arrogance.

Approaching Women With Confidence

It is one thing to feel confident when you are on your own or with your friends, but asking out someone you like will strike up insecurities and nerves in anyone. Everyone, on some level, questions themselves before they approach someone they are interested in. Everyone feels a build-up of butterflies in their stomach and sweat in their palms. That is natural and makes a “yes” feel that much more rewarding in the end.

The key to using your confidence is to trust in it. Everyone has that pessimistic voice in the back of their minds that makes them doubt their every move. If you are to tell that voice to shut up and focus on your confidence, you may be able to have more success when asking someone out. This does not come easy, but the more times you do it, the easier it gets to focus on that confidence. So just shove aside your fears of rejection and finally ask that girl you like out. It is not easy, but it is worth it.

guy giving flower to girl

So when it comes down to it, you do not have to be a male model or drive a sports car to get a girl. So long as you approach her with a genuine confidence, you have a good chance of sparking her interest. Confidence does not come easily to everyone, but trying your best to find and embrace some form of confidence can make interacting with and attracting a girl so much easier.

Reference this article:

Practical Psychology. (2018, August). Why Confidence is Attractive in Dating Relationships. Retrieved from https://practicalpie.com/why-confidence-is-attractive-in-dating-relationships/.

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